Isabella
by MadameOvaries
Summary: Bella went through a near-death experience as a child and Damon saved her life, telling her one day he would come to collect. Now, seven years later, he's coming to take her, or kill all of her loved ones. AU/Minor OOC & Lemons
1. Prologue- The Deal

**Prologue**

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><p>I'd never given much thought to how I would die, though I'd had reason enough in the last few years. But dying in the place of someone I loved, seemed like a good way to go.<p>

The pale moonlight shone through the tiny slit in the blinds, I looked at my roommate, Rosalie. Her gold hair framed her beautiful face, her long eyelashes just brushing the tops of her cheekbones.

It seemed impossible, but I would miss her. I would miss this cozy space on the University campus; I would miss my human friends; I would miss grabbing coffee's with Alice, Elena and Bonnie; lounging in the beautiful green, grassy quad before classes. I would miss sneaking off and cutting class with Edward. Oh, Edward! He's the one I'd miss the most.

I wished I could feel his strong arms around me now, so hard yet so comforting. I wished I could feel his sweet breath on my hair. What I wouldn't give to look into those golden eyes just _one more time. _

But I can't. Tonight was the night I would give my soul away to the dark vampire, who'd torture and kill my loved ones, torture and kill Edward, if I didn't. This dark vampire, who I had made a deal with years ago to save myself, was finally coming to collect.

It all started in seventh grade, when I had first moved to Forks, Washington.

It was another dreary day, I found myself continuously rubbing my hands together to keep warm. The other seventh grade kids were joyously playing around the playground; I kept close to the low fence of the parking lot, waiting for that bell to ring.

The little red-haired girl named Bonnie McCullough who always laughed a little too loud was chasing around baby-faced Mike Newton. Jessica Stanley was watching with wide eyes and kept whispering to her best friend Lauren Mallory, until Eric Yorkie snuck up on them with a vine, pretending it was a snake. The girls' screams and giggles echoed through the playground.

In the corner of the field, sitting on their coats and sweaters were the Cullen's. I let my eyes drift over them, watching them suspiciously. The Cullen's never played games, never came to Birthday parties, and didn't bother putting their hands up in lessons- almost like they were too good or something.

Or because they had a secret.

"Not your cup of tea?" The new male teacher asked me, staring at me with satiny black eyes. He had apparently moved here from Italy with his brother and uncle, they were staying in a huge house in the woods. My father had never let me into those parts of the woods, he said monsters lived there, and I believed him. I was suspicious of this new teacher, too.

I shrugged with child-like innocence. "I wish I could, Mr. Salvatore," Then pointed at my bum leg. I had broken it on a cold, rainy day like this one while playing a game we called Grounders with some of the other kids. Jessica, Lauren, Eric, Angela and Mike- the Cullen's were, of course, invited, but none of them came. We had all voted on who should be "It" and Lauren was initially chosen, but she cried. Finally I said I wouldn't mind and closed my eyes, spun around and counted to 10. I stopped and roamed around the play structure, my hands stretching aimlessly in front of me. Suddenly someone pushed me from the side and I went falling to the sand in the playground, my leg twisting under me. The other kids said they didn't see who pushed me, but I had my suspicions it was Lauren. For some reason she had really hated me when we were kids.

Mr. Salvatore's voice called me back; his keen dark eyes were on me again as he spoke, slowly drifting over my face, then walking away. I didn't hear what he said, I wished I did, but my ears were more tuned into the sudden squealing happening behind me. I looked over my shoulder and my eyebrows shot up.

A tiny silver car was spinning out of control through the parking lot and heading straight toward me. I willed my feet to move, but I wasn't fast enough. I just felt the feel of the bumper against my knees, suddenly aching, and my head snapped backward, making a horrible noise, and I was pulled under the car. The coldness of the grass and distant screaming was all I was aware of before slipping into blackness.

When I woke up again I was lying in a room full of white things. White bed sheets, white pillow, white walls, white floors. In the crook of my arm was a tube, connected to a machine. There were tubes on my face too, and a wire connected to my hand. There was another tube that disappeared under the blanket near my abdomen; I didn't want to think where that one led.

My head was pounding, and I felt like I could sleep some more but I hadn't a clue how long I had been sleeping before. I couldn't move anything, like there were cinder blocks tied to me, holding me to the bed. My legs felt heavier than the rest of my body, I wondered why. My whole body ached like I had been burned, the burning in my neck and legs worse than anywhere else.

Suddenly one of the many machine's beside me started beeping. A pretty, middle-aged nurse came bustling in, her soft blue eyes turned grave and sad when she saw me. "My dear child," she murmured, then went to a machine and pressed a button to stop the beeping.

She turned back to me. "I'm nurse Dawly, dear. If you need anything you can try and press this button. Can you move your fingers, dear?"

What a silly question, I found myself thinking. But when I started lifting my pointer finger toward the yellow button she showed me, nothing happened. I tried again but my finger stayed in the same place. I started panicking; trying to move any part of me, but nothing would cooperate.

Nurse Dawly nodded grimly and patted my hand. "It's alright, dear." Then she went to the foot of my bed and pulled off a tiny clipboard from there. As she was reading it the frown lines on her face became more pronounced, and when she turned to leave, I found I couldn't form the words to ask her what my chart had said.

I had woken up several times after that, feeling worse, yet better, every time. Sometimes when I woke, my father would be there, clinging to my hand with his head buried in my covers. Each time the machine beside me would begin beeping and nurse Dawly would enter my room as my father perked up, eagerly awaiting good news. Each time I would try to greet her, but the dryness in my throat, that no cup of water could cure, stopped me. Each time I would try to move something, as instructed, but nothing would happen. Then my father would rub his swollen eyes and nurse Dawly would leave the room looking like she'd seen death.

Maybe she had.

When I woke up the last time I found it hard to open my eyes, and when I did they were tiny slits. I realized my father was no longer with me, I was completely alone. Everything in the room looked blurry, or maybe that was because the room was dark in many places except for where the moonlight hit the window.

The machine I was sure monitored my heart rate was beeping very slowly. Breathing came slowly, too, and made horrible wheezy sounds as it came out. With every breath it felt like my chest was getting heavier.

I could barely feel anything anymore. My limbs were just there for show, I couldn't feel the roughness of the sheets or the weight of the blanket nurse Dawly must have put on me. The only thing I felt was the pounding in my head and the soft beating of my heart.

Then I saw him, standing as still as a pouncing lion in the shadows of my hospital room. At first I wasn't sure, but after a moment he became clear.

I barely had enough energy to be frightened anymore. I acknowledged him wearily, fighting to keep my eyes open. I tried to speak, again, but found it impossible.

"You look terrible," Mr. Salvatore whispered, something about his tone made it sound like he was enjoying watching me suffer.

But I wasn't suffering; I could barely feel anything at all.

I knew I looked pretty bad. Once, after I had woken and after nurse Dawly fed me, she pulled something from a bag she had and presented it to me. It was a mirror. She asked if I wanted to look and I responded that I did with the jerk of my chin. It was all I could do to not burst when nurse Dawly held up the mirror. The reflection of the girl staring back at me wasn't what I had been expecting.

There was a thin bandage around her neck and a metal-like brace; it looked like her head might fall without it. That wasn't all; her hair was shaved to her head, dark circles that looked like bruises were under her eyes, her lips chapped and cut, and around her head was a bandage. All over her face were cuts and bruises.

At least I'm not dead, I thought. But I knew that very soon, I would be. The doctors were humouring themselves, keeping me alive. My father foolishly clinging to what little of me he had left. They should have, as the term goes, pulled the plug.

I let out three wheezing breaths before Mr. Salvatore spoke again.

"I came to help you, Isabella."

If I could have talked, I would have called him mad, and then asked him to call me Bella. No one could have helped me.

"I can see in your face you don't believe me, Bella." He stepped closer, out of the shadows. "I'm not a cruel man, I'm not a civil man, and I don't do the right thing, but even I know when something has to be done."

The curiosity must have been clear in my eyes.

Mr. Salvatore smirked. "You will not die today, Bella. I'm going to save you."

I mustered up enough strength to speak, even then I barely made any sound and the word was coarse, "How?"

He leaned his head back extending his arms in front of him. There was a buzz in the room suddenly, I could feel it. The room was pulsing with energy. The machines attached to me went wild. My heart began to beat faster and I closed my eyes because this sudden feeling was euphoric. I could feel life flowing into my veins, almost like the morphine felt, but this was curing me, it was better. I felt the life trickle down my legs and to my feet, through my arms to the tips of my fingers. Soon my head wasn't pounding, my heart rate was normal. I felt more alive than ever in my lifetime.

"Appreciate the rest of your life, Bella. And please, call me Damon."

Foot falls pounded down the hall, coming toward my room. I opened my eyes, searching for Mr. Salvatore- Damon- but he was gone.

The door was just flinging open when I heard a whisper inside my head. It was Mr. Salvatore's voice.

_Someday, I will come to collect. Be expecting me..._

From that day on I never stopped thinking about his last words to me, his threat. The dark angel who saved my life never left my mind even for a moment.

That was seven years ago. Seven years ago he gave me life, now he's finally coming to collect.

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**A/N As always, take a moment to leave a review please, at least so I can thank you for reading. I love talking to fans! :) Thanks for reading! XOXO - Simmy**


	2. Strange Times With the Cullens

**Chapter 1**

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><p>The day I first arrived on the University campus, towing one huge suitcase, fall had just rolled in. Beautiful orange and red leaves lined the quad. I made my way to Mueller Hall and took in the sight around me as I went.<p>

It had taken a lot of convincing on my father's part to get me to come to this University; I had wanted to keep close to home. But my father ignored my qualms, insisting that getting away from town, and constant rumors, would be better for me. I couldn't argue with that.

About the rumors ... The people of Forks were still gossiping about the police Chiefs daughter who never seemed to die. They thought I was evil, that I had made a deal with the devil. The stares and whispering had gotten so bad that I spent a few years in Phoenix with my mother, but eventually I had to come home after High School. For some reason the rumors only got harder to endure, it seemed my unexplained absence caused quite a scandal.

So I did the only thing I could think to do, listen to my father and come to Rhode Island to attend Brown University, first year on a scholarship then God-Knows-What. My father offered to pay for the rest of the years but I insisted it wasn't necessary.

There was no point on agreeing something long-term, when my death was so close and so real in my eyes that it was almost tangible.

Finally, I made it to a wide, historic building with a sign saying Mueller Hall. I stopped in front of it to rest my arm, sore from towing the giant suitcase, and stared up at the beautiful red-bricked building.

"Excuse me? You're blocking, like, the whole stairway."

I whirled around, hitting the toe of my shoes against my suitcase (the sturdy thing didn't even budge an inch) and met fierce brown-gold eyes. "Uhm, s-sorry. I'm Bella Swan." I stuck my hand out awkwardly.

"I know who you are, Isabella. Hello, we went to Forks Middle School together." She scoffed and flipped her gold hair away from her face. "You only brought _one _suitcase? What are you, a nomad?" She smiled wickedly, her caramel-brown eyes ablaze. She grabbed her suitcase handle and started up the stairs.

"Uhm, right," I mumbled, and tried inching my suitcase over to the side. I don't remember ever seeing this beautiful girl in my life, and I certainly would remember.

A guy with heavy-looking arms was following after the beautiful girl with a big cardboard box in his hand and two duffel bags around his shoulders.

I watched them go with a look of confusion. Either the blond was mistaking me for someone else, or I had a really terrible memory.

When I got up to my room, I pushed the door open to find the beautiful blond girl there. She perched on her bed while the big guy set a box down; they were speaking in low, hushed tones. I instantly felt like an intruder.

The blond girl's head snapped towards the door as I stepped in and she stood.

"What are you doing in here?"

I froze. "This is my dorm ..."

She shook her head and crossed her arms. "That's impossible; I asked for a single."

I shrugged. I was slowly beginning to dislike this girl; she seemed like a brat and I had only just met her.

She groaned and flew past me, out the door, practically shoving me out of the way. "Emmett, stay here and watch my things. And tell Edward to get the rest of my stuff in the car."

The rest? I thought. There was _more? _And I thought this huge suitcase would be too much. The name Edward also sounded familiar, but that name was common enough. It was probably her uncle.

The only other person in the room was the big guy, Emmett, he was grinning at me wickedly. "You're going to have a fun time," he said.

I pulled my suitcase into the room and set it on the other bed, then turned back to him. "Is she _always _like this?"

Emmett crossed his burly arms. "Not exactly," but his grin said otherwise.

Then there was a quick knock on the door and it flew open. Two girls sprang into the room; a tiny girl with short, spiky brown hair, and another petite girl with curly red hair and a huge smile on her face. I immediately recognized her.

"Bonnie!" I held my arms out for the other girl and she jumped into them.

"Bella, I didn't know you were coming to Brown!"

I shrugged and pulled away. Bonnie and I were best friends in middle school and she always stuck up for me, even though she was nearly 3 inches shorter. She had the same prominent features; wild, curly hair and wide brown eyes.

"You remember Alice?" Bonnie said, gesturing to the girl beside her who slightly resembled a pixie.

I took a second glance at the brunette, being pulled into the past. I suddenly seen her surrounded by other pale faced children; her brothers and sister; Rosalie, my roommate, her twin brother, Jasper, and Edward, Alice's twin brother. They were the four Cullen siblings. The very same ones I had been so suspicious of in Middle school.

"Oh, right, yes, of course; Alice. How could I have forgotten? We went to middle school together, right?"

Alice seemed to be pulled back to the present and blinked twice, looking at me. She had caramel-brown eyes too, I noted. Alice had on this bizarre expression that made me uncomfortable.

I cleared my throat. "Are you going to school here, too?"

Alice shook her head then smiled. "I'm just visiting, making sure my brother and sister has everything in order. Our parent's wanted me to check."

"Oh!" Bonnie gasped and everyone looked at her. She smiled apologetically then looked at Alice. "Should we go take Bella to see Edward?"

"Edward?" I asked. Why would I want to see Edward? I don't remember us being that close in Middle school. I hadn't been close with any of the Cullen siblings.

Alice looked at Bonnie, trying to communicate something with her eyes. "We should let Bella get settled first, Bonnie." Then she met eyes with Emmett. "Where's Rose?"

Emmett chuckled, unfazed by the off atmosphere in the room. "She went to speak with the dorm adviser."

My cheeks burned scarlet.

Alice '_tsked'_ and Bonnie giggled.

"Well, we'd better go check on Edward," Alice said, grabbing Bonnie's hand.

But Bonnie pulled back, looking first as Emmett, and then at me, and then back to Emmett. "We're all going out tonight."

Emmett smiled and nodded his head, "Sweet."

Bonnie looked at me, "Bella?"

I pulled the sleeves of my jacket down with my hands, briefly contemplating saying no, but then something in me decided against it. You only went to University once right? I nodded. "Sure, I'd love to."

"We're meeting in the quad around eightish."

I nodded, "Okay."

When they left me I was confronted with the blankness of my dorm. I tried with all my might to lift the suitcase onto my bed, but couldn't even get it an inch off the ground. (My arm muscles were shot after towing it around the campus; thank god this dorm has an elevator.) I settled it lying down on the hardwood floor and sat on top, an old memory stirring inside me.

.

_It was a bright summer day, unusual for Forks, and pretty purple and white flowers bloomed in the meadow. The warm breeze blew against my face and arms, comforting me like warm licks of feathers. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. The sun peeked out from the trees above and turned my eyelids red, basking my face in heat._

_Suddenly something cold touched my hand, it felt out of place in this sunny heaven, but I didn't pull away. I smiled contently as the person's icy fingers traced up and down my arm, leaving fiery lines instead of cold ones._

_I looked up to meet the deep golden eyes of the person sitting next to me, a feeling of warmth spreading through me. Their face was slightly obscured, like a shadow was hanging over it, even though we were in the light. The only things that weren't smudged were the person's disheveled dark bronze hair and their lovely liquid gold eyes._

_The feeling of joy quickly washed out of me. Something was wrong. Something wasn't right._

_Then the man beside me leaned forward and suddenly it wasn't the same person. As the person leaned forward in the light, their eyes turned into a stunning black, their hair pulled back and turned fine and dark._

_This new man smiled wickedly, showing full canines._

_"You're time is up, Isabella."_

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I woke up with Damon Salvatore's laugh still echoing in my ears, some part of me wondering who the previous man had been. Why had I felt so attached to him? Why his face was blurred, like someone had reached into my memory and wiped all traces of him out?

I sat up straight, stretching out my back, which was stiff from lying in such an awkward position on my suitcase, pressed against the bed.

Well, not all traces. Some part of him was still alive in me, unwilling to leave.

I just had to uncover it.

By the time I fully came to, it was half an hour to 8. I noticed Rosalie Hale's things were stacked by the bed and one suitcase was opened, with clothing strewn hazardously around. I blushed; she and Emmett must have been in here while I was sleeping.

I opened my suitcase and changed into a fresh, dark blue blouse and modest black skirt. One look in the mirror told me that I needed some blush to add some color to my pale cheeks, but I didn't have the energy, or the concern.

Maybe it'll be dim where we're going, I thought.

Then, without a backwards glance, I grabbed my purse and slipped down the stairs out Mueller Hall.

When I got to the quad I had seen a group of people hanging out by one of the many benches. They stood there looking like great companions, telling jokes and patting each other on the back. I almost felt rude for watching, until one with a brilliant white smile gestured me over.

I walked up, feeling awkward, trying to keep my eyes from flashing from each face.

"Guys, Bella's here!" Bonnie chirped.

A murmur went through the group of people, I looked up. Rosalie was there, holding the arm of Emmett, with a haughty grin on her face. Alice and another beautiful girl, introduced as Elena, were also there. Elena, aka the golden angel fairy princess, was wrapped up in a boy with pretty emerald green eyes. I smiled politely at them.

"Hey, Bella," A bronze voice said beside me.

I turned lightening fast and met dark brown eyes. My throat was so closed with shock that I couldn't even muster up a reply. No one spoke for the longest time, and after a moment I looked away, to Bonnie.

"Should we go then?"

We all started walking in the direction of the bar, chatting aimlessly. Well, I remained quiet at the edge of the group, trying not to stare at Edward Cullen. Why was I behaving this way? Why was my heart pounding? I didn't know him. In Middle school, I didn't even _want _to know him or his siblings; they all seemed too introvert, too out of the ordinary.

Maybe I should finally give the Cullen's a chance. Well, those who were present. Rosalie's twin, Jasper, was absent.

My eyes roamed again to the mysterious, handsome boy with messy sex-hair and very broad shoulders. There was no question about my attraction to him. To say he was good-looking was the least of it. I found myself wishing I had worn something nicer, and I never really worried about my appearance.

His eyes suddenly met mine and he gave me a shy smile.

I smiled back, then bit my lip and pried my eyes away.

We were walking along a busy street now, and Bonnie kept asking me if I was cold. I looked cold, apparently. I shook my head, no, and let myself get lost in the Friday night rush.

Then, through the whoosh of passing cars and laughter, I heard something: A whisper against my neck, a satiny voice calling my name. The hairs on the back of my neck stood and an icy chill ran down my back.

I looked over my shoulder and Damon Salvatore was standing there wearing a black leather jacket. His dark hair, far too fine to be human, was swept elegantly away from his eyes, which were onyx black. He was staring at me curiously, with a pleased smirk on his lips.

_You've grown ... but you're not stronger._

I was shocked to realize that his lips didn't move; the voice was in my head.

_At midnight tomorrow, I will be waiting in the quad. You _will_ meet me, or the blood will be on your hands._

And then he disappeared, blowing away with the wind.

A hand touched my shoulder. "Bella, are you okay?" It was Edward. My head spun. I looked to my side to see six backs faced to me, still walking. The boy had probably come back when he noticed I was no longer walking with them.

The blood would be on my hands? What did this mean? Would Damon Salvatore kill everyone I knew? Or would he hit where it hurt the most, with my mother and father?

I nodded, but I felt sick to my stomach. I had no choice, and Damon knew it; I _must _meet him tomorrow. If I didn't, several lives would end, instead of just one. My hands were tied. Tomorrow my life would end, before I even got to live it.

The boy's eyes raked over my face, and then he called to the group. "Guys, Bella's not feeling well; I'm going to walk her back to the dorm."

They all stopped and looked back.

Bonnie's face was creased with worry. "What's wrong, Bella?"

I shrugged and when I spoke my voice was weak, adding a nice touch to my story. "I'm just a little sick."

"I'll come with you!"

I shook my head. "No, no. It's fine. Don't let me ruin your night."

Alice looked on the verge of tears when she grabbed Bonnie's elbow and towed her away. "I'll call you tomorrow, Bella. We have to catch up." Her voice was unusually thick.

I turned away and started walking back in the direction of campus, feeling the boy at my side. I was the first to speak.

"I'm sorry about this, I just… I don't know. I'm not feeling well."

"Oh, I don't mind at all!" Edward said, gazing at me with those soft eyes.

Why hadn't he and I become better friends before? We were both quiet for a while. "Did you and your family move away after Middle school?" I asked Edward. "I don't remember seeing you around after that."

He suddenly stopped walking. When I looked back at him, his eyes were wide with confusion and disbelief. "What did you just say?"

I froze, too. Biting my lip, I repeated what I had just said.

He shook his head, as if trying to make sense of something. Why was he behaving so bizarrely? Maybe this is why we were never friends; he couldn't make sense.

"What made you come to Brown?" Edward suddenly asked.

We started walking again. It took me a moment to form a response. "It was Charlie's idea," I paused, "Do you know Charlie?"

He nodded in response.

"Yeah, well, he wanted me to get away from Forks ... because of the rumors. You remember in seventh grade when I got hit by that car and survived? Well, after that people started saying that I had made a deal with Satan. He doesn't say so, but I think it hurts him a lot."

"I remember," Edward said, then looked down at me and held my eyes. "I didn't believe it for a second."

I shrugged. "Everyone else did."

Edward shook his head. "No, I don't think they did. I just think they didn't have anything else to believe."

"It doesn't matter anymore," I mumbled, and tucked a lock of stray hair behind my ear.

We stopped walking, and I noticed that we were already at Mueller Hall.

When I looked back at Edward to say goodbye, his eyes were staring intensely at my face. Those deep, shiny eyes, framed with thick eyelashes, dazed me and I couldn't speak.

"Do you honestly not remember me?"

My mouth opened and closed twice before I responded. "I _do_ remember you, Edward. In Middle school. But, then, you must have moved away, right? Transferred schools or something?

He nodded, but said nothing more.

"I remember in seventh grade, when you guys kept to yourself. Back then there was another boy, named Jasper, right? Rosalie's twin brother?"

Edward looked very disturbed. "Did you ... meet someone ... after your accident?"

I froze. "What?"

"After your accident, did you speak to someone for special help, to help yourself?"

My heart all but stopped. Oh god, he knew. How could he know about Damon? He can't; no one knew but me and Damon. Maybe he was just a wildly good guesser. I had to stop Edward from getting more suspicious; if he found out about Damon, then Damon would just have a reason to kill him. I didn't know why, but I felt strangely protective of this boy who I was just reconnecting with.

I settled for defensive. "I thought you didn't believe the rumors," I mumbled.

"That's not what I was referring to."

"The doctors tried some new medicine and it worked. I went through intensive physical therapy after the accident. My body repaired itself. I didn't need _special help."_

He didn't look convinced.

"I'm tired," I said quickly, before he could say anymore. It was all I could do not to sprint up the stairs. I fell into my bed and covered my face with my arms. College was so _not _a good idea.

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**A/N I would like to take this moment to give a thanks for the fabulous reviews! I love reading reviews :) If you have a question or concern don't hesitate to leave a review telling me, I actually do respond and I'm very nice. XOXO - Simmy**


	3. Edward's Memories

****A/N Hola and thanks for the great reviews guys! I must warn you: Edward is super cute in this chapter. I hope y'all adore this chapter and enjoy it as much as I did while writing it. Please review! Hugs and kisses- Simmy****

**Chapter 2**

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><p>Loving her had become the norm for me. A life without loving Bella seemed like somebody else's' life, someone without a soul. The first time I knew I loved her; we were twelve- barely teenagers, we hadn't even found ourselves yet.<p>

We were walking along the Forks River, she had asked me to hold her hand in case she fell in; Bella was always paranoid like that. I remember how soft her hand had been, how good it felt to have something warm to hold on to- Bella didn't even mention how cold I was, I think she knew better.

Suddenly the light hit her, bringing out the flecks of red in her hair, making her pale skin glow softly.

Bella turned to face me and smiled. "I liked getting away with you, Edward; the real world is hard to deal with right now."

"You're beautiful," I blurted, then covered my mouth with my hand. Did I just tell a _girl_ she was _beautiful_- and not just any girl- but _Bella?_ In that moment, it was probably single most courageous thing I had ever done.

Bella blushed, and then giggled. I didn't know if that was good or not, but it was worth it just to see that blush.

The first time I felt like telling her I loved her was when we were fourteen, she kept talking about her father wanting her to leave Forks because of the rumours.

I felt like saying something, something that would make her remember this day with me, something for her to look back on and feel warm, and something to make sure she wouldn't forget me. The words were right on my lips ... but I couldn't do it.

Maybe I wasn't ready to bare my soul out and tell Bella she had complete control over me. After that, I walked her home and kissed her on her door step.

The first time I actually did tell her I loved her was on a very sunny day in the spring time, just before she moved away to Phoenix. We were both seventeen. I had brought Bella to a meadow we usually frequented, carrying her on my back through the woods till we came to our spot.

Bella was overjoyed about how sunny it was, I made sure my lapis lazuli ring was fit on nice and snug, before leaving the house that day so Bella wouldn't be any more shocked with me. I had told her my secret a few weeks before, and she'd wanted to know every last detail down to the nub; I'd told her everything she'd wanted to know.

That's the thing about soul mates.

I had told her about how we aged, but only to a certain age; it was different for most but never over 25. I told her about how I had to wear my lapis lazuli ring to keep from sparkling in the sunlight, but usually never wore it as Forks was nice and cloudy. I told her about the animal blood diet, that my family and I preferred. But I also told her about the bad vampires, the ones without conscious or mercy- she didn't really like that part.

Bella lay on the grass of the meadow, her arms propped to keep her upright, and she bent her face toward the sun.

I couldn't help but trace the veins on her arms, to feel the warmth of blood flowing there, to hear the beat of her heart, sense the flow of life radiating through her. I wondered once again, like I always did, what it would be like for me if Bella had died back in seventh year, probably like she was supposed to. It would be lifeless, and dull, I would probably be living through every moment in agony, waiting for _something _that was never going to happen.

There, thinking about losing her, she opened her vibrant brown eyes and met mine. Her pink mouth instantly curled up into a smile when she saw me watching her, and a flash of confusion crossed her eyes. A little crease appeared between her eyebrows, and I knew, even without reading her mind, that she was wondering how it was possible when I looked at her that way.

For all her insecurities, hopeless desires, irresistible charm, and uncanny bad luck, Bella was the one thing I couldn't live without. She was the only thing I had ever loved to wholly, save my adopted family. She was the only thing that could make me feel human again. She was the same as me, yet she was unmistakeably vulnerable.

Bella's eye shined when they met mine, I could always hear her heart stutter when I got near, and quicken when I touched her. A light rose blush always crept onto her cheeks whenever I complimented her, or even showed the least bit of chivalry.

How could I not love her?

"Edward ..." Bella whispered, leaning closer unconsciously- so close I could almost taste the delicious scent coming from her throat. "What are you thinking?"

I met her eyes, staring so deep into them it was like I could see her beautiful soul. "I love you."

It seemed so simple, so right, to say it. Almost like a fact.

Bella smiled widely and tried not to look pleased. "I know," she said.

Such happy memories, such a golden time in my life, such a shame so much has changed. Every night I fall asleep thinking about these, wondering how things could have gone from wonderful to horrible so quickly.

Nowadays, my pleasant thoughts morphed into nightmares. Bella telling me she loved me back, leaning forward to kiss me, then feeling razor sharp fangs and the sting of venom against my neck. Walking along a lane with Bella, holding her tightly against me, then Bella being torn away from me, simply by darkness.

Then I would wake up, wishing I had my Bella right beside me to cradle in my arms.

Slowly, I would calm myself and drift off again, feeling too numb to fall asleep completely, because my next thoughts depressed me so violently sleep wouldn't even occur to me. The thought that I would probably never see Bella again, because Bella no longer loved me the same way I would always, _always _love her.


	4. The Old Damon

**Chapter 3**

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><p><em>Dear Diary,<br>_

_It's a bizarre thing, looking back on the life you lived with an almost stunning sense of regret. I still remember the day I left my only true friend in the world, abandoning her for a life full of solitude and desolation. It wasn't the first time I had destroyed something so astronomically, but it haunted me throughout the rest of my undead years. On that day, I left my former life behind and began a new one. It was December 4th, the year 1964 ..._

_.  
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With my shiny black shoes and satin tailored suit, I would surely never fit in amongst these hippies and mouth-breathers. Even though many of them wore determined expressions and held their signs defiantly, clearly most of them had smoked cannabis shortly before assuming their positions. Born into a much more regal time, my stance and sheer degree of importance made me stand out far more than my clothing. Back in Virginia, my status would have meant something. To these nonconformists I was but another face in the overly-packed crowd.

Much to my displeasure, it was uncommonly chilly for California, and many of the university protesters were wearing ponchos and mittens to keep warm. Overhead, the sun was still shining, but bringing no warmth to the many dwellers below. A vast amount of students gathered on the lawn in front of Sproul Hall, several more lined the street across.

"Watch out, man!" A man shouted, stumbling into me. He held a sign high above his head, shouting the same chant I'd been hearing since arriving. "Clean up the mess in Berkeley!" The man cried, earning a loud bark of assent from his classmates.

The students were getting so boisterous, the peaceful protest was almost becoming a full-blown riot. Copious amounts of glass were at the ground in front of me. As I made my way through the strong waves of students, I nearly lost my hat from the top of my head.

I glowered around myself, trying to find the perpetrator, catching the eye of a tall man with a thick beard and icy blue eyes. Lifting my chin defiantly, I squinted hard into his eyes, trying to read what was on his mind. His mouth twisted up in a grimace the moment his eyes met mine, and after a second he turned away, glancing back once. When his eyes met mine the last time, I knew it was almost time. This was the guy. He knew what I knew. This was not the right place to be. It wasn't the right time.

I held my Trilby hat between my hands anxiously, my eyes raking over the outstanding crowd of students. I wondered why Theophilia had wanted to meet here. It was only getting colder outside and I was surprised at the number of students that had gathered here to protests their rights. If I listened closely, I could almost make out the sound of police sirens in the distance. Soon, they would come to break up this protest, arresting up to 800 students in the process. I quickly edged towards the shops on the other side of the street. I needed to find Theophilia _now_.

Suddenly a sign struck me in the back of the head. "Gah!" I turned quickly to face my attacker. Bright black eyes met mine, and a wide smile spread across the smooth, pretty face of Theophilia Flowers.

"Damon!" Theophilia gushed, dropping her sign hazardously onto the ground. She pulled me into a warm embrace. I tucked my hat under my arm then placed my hands lightly against her back, careful not to let them stray towards the hem of her long, yellow skirt. She pulled back, holding me by the shoulders. "Damon Salvatore! It's been too long, my friend."

I grimaced; 'friend' wasn't exactly the word I would use to describe Theophilia Flowers and my relationship. Throughout the years, our relationship had become a sore, throbbing blister on the surface of my life that kept coming back. Having a close relationship with a person who could so easily die, was not something I had planned on. It was literally the only thing I had never allowed myself to do during my immortal life. Yet I could hardly count the number of times that I had saved Theophilia from danger, always so careful to keep her alive. It had almost become a sickly profession; keeping her close and breathing for my own personal liaisons. For if I lost Theophilia, I would lose my only exclusive connection into a life of intimacy, secrecy, intuition, and old magic.

Clearing my throat to respond, I answered in a slightly husky tone, "Yes, I suppose it has been longer than usual, hasn't it?" Casually, politely, I changed the subject, "Would you care to grab a town car?" The sirens were getting closer and closer, making me more anxious.

She waved her hand airily. "We must stay here and help these poor souls get what's rightfully theirs." Theophilia picked up her sign again and stuck it straight in the air. "Clean up the mess in Berkeley!" She shouted, and loud roars of agreement rose up around us.

"You don't even go to this school," I whispered in her ear, just loud enough for her to hear me over the protesters. When she merely chuckled and shrugged, I let out a sigh if disdain. "I don't have time to protect you today, Theophilia. Please, come away with me now."

She looked at me sharply, the corners of her mouth dropping into a frown. "I don't like the tone of your voice, Mr. Salvatore. I came here to make history. We need just another minute, I can feel it." She lifted her index finger into the air, a soft smile gracing itself on her beautiful face.

My jaw clenched; I knew exactly what she was speaking of. Theophilia was best with dates, you could say it was her strong suit. She had been dreaming of this day, this riot, for the past seven years. It was her job to make sure it went the way she wanted it to. There were others here, of course, members of the Brotherhood, who would step in if she failed. Although no one was expecting her to: Theophilia was well respected in the ranks of the Brotherhood.

"Ahh ..." She sighed. "Yes ... it's time."

People began pushing from the edges of the wide street. Traffic had been blocked off for the past 26 hours, just after the pupils brought their Free Speech Movement outdoors. We were immersed into a crowd of angry college students. Theophilia was laughing, being knocked from side to side. I reached out for her, grabbing her hand and pulling her to safety. In the midst of all the chaos, I managed to lose my one-of-a-kind Trilby hat, but thankfully got Theophilia out of there in one piece.

I towed her into an alley, away from the still forceful chanting and call of police sirens. The sound of glass breaking and cars honking was somehow even louder. I felt the sudden urge to cover my ears.

Instead I shouted, "Are you okay, Theophilia?" at the girl who was still chuckling.

"Oh, I'm fine!" She waved me off. Her dark hair was a thick mess of curls, weaving down her back as if someone tried to braid it but got bored half-way through. Little yellow and purple flowers dotted themselves in Theophilia's hair, one landing just above her ear. She smiled at me serenely, despite the bedlam happening just beside us.

I looked over my shoulder, catching a glimpse of several people running in the opposite direction as before. "We should leave before we get arrested, Theophilia," I announced, taking her arm in mine and half-running down the dank back alley.

"Wait, wait," she gasped. I let go, afraid I might have hurt her. When I looked back at her, she was turned towards the college campus. "It's not done yet, Damon."

"The Brotherhood will finish it," I reminded her.

With one last withering look at the university, she let me tow her into the street, where I hailed a yellow taxi cab. After giving the driver my temporary address I turned to Theophilia again, to make sure no damage had been done to my prize possession. "Are you _sure_ you're alright, Theophilia? I can't risk it if something were to happen-"

"I'm fine, Damon," Theophilia answered, suddenly sounding sad. I knew she was feeling remorseful that she hadn't been the one to nudge along the Berkeley riot.

I rolled my eyes, grateful that Theophilia's eyes were closed so she couldn't see. "Don't worry, Theophilia. There will be more riots for you to conspire with."

She shook her head, her mouth pinching up. "No, no, it's not that. I just ... it seems odd to me, the way those students hadn't needed the extra push to begin. That's not how it should happen, you see. This day and age, people should be about the love. Executing a riot... it was much too easy."

We were speaking in hushed whispers, much too low for the cabbie driver to hear over his music. Outside, the streets were lined with pedestrians as they visited the shops along the boardwalk. Overhead the sky had a peculiar gray tinge about it-abnormal for Northern California.

"That's just what happens when too many strong-willed people fight for the same cause, Theophilia." I answered in a flat voice.

The girl sighed. "Damon, call me Theo. Theophilia seems so formal, don't you think? I changed it a few months ago, while you were gone."

It was my turn to sigh. "Fine, Theo it is."

Just then we pulled up to my hotel. I stepped out of the cab, throwing a couple crumpled twenties at the driver and helped Theophilia out of the car. She seemed to have a little trouble standing upright, so I let her rest against me until we came to my hotel room. This room, like so many others across the globe, was scarcely decorated and always a little too cold. Just having Theophilia's presence in the room warmed it up, or maybe it was her supernatural gifts that did the trick.

Almost to prove my point, Theophilia walked over to the far side of the wall, pressing her palms against it and leaning her head back. She mumbled a few sentences, her lips moving so fast and her words so low, it would have been impossible for a human to pick it up.

Finally, she stepped back and smiled at me. "You deserve to feel warm, even if your heart is cold."

Her words affected me, like they always do, except this time it was in a negative way. I felt almost defensive; my heart wasn't cold. In fact, it felt very warm at this moment.

I stared into Theophilia's wide, satiny black eyes framed with thick eyelashes. They seemed to awaken something in me that I thought had died centuries ago. I was always surprised when I looked into Theophilia's eyes, because sometimes I seen things I didn't want to see. They never failed to captivate me.

Theophilia took a little step towards me, almost timidly. She tipped her head to the side, as if feeling the same bizarre sensation I was. Without giving a conscious consent, I was moving towards her, too. She lifted her hands to my face, stopping a few centimeters away, as if afraid to touch me. I could tell from the tense set of her jaw, that she was having difficulty controlling herself, just like I was.

At this precise moment, my thirst was so frantic, my throat burning intensely, my eyes black with desire, that I found it particularly difficult to be close to Theophilia. Yet I didn't move away. I didn't even look away from her black water eyes. Instead I drank her in, from her dark brown hair, whose tangled mess of curls suddenly seemed very endearing-sexy, even- to the small strip of pale, flat stomach just above her long yellow skirt, under her long-sleeved cotton shirt.

Theophilia's hands fluttered down again, but she stepped closer so her body was flush with mine. I sucked in a breath; the dryness in my mouth was only getting more uncomfortable. I knew just what would quench that thirst …

Running my tongue along my pearl smooth teeth, I felt the length of my canines grow. I knew that if we didn't stop this now then it would end badly, but when I tried to step away, Theophilia grabbed me by the neck. Her long fingernails dug into the tender skin fiercely. She held me in that strong grasp that was as frail as an aged piece of timber. I could have pulled away easily, but somehow I couldn't find the strength.

The girls delicious pink lips parted, sweet breath fanned my face. I could feel every inch of her lithe body pressed against mine.

Finally, it became too much to resist. I pressed her mouth to mine, almost too roughly. I didn't care. All I wanted was her luscious mouth on mine, to feel her body moving with mine, to tangle my hands in her hair. This kiss was passionate and easy, our mouths moved together in rhythm. Her lips were so soft. Our kiss seemed to stretch on, and on. She finally had to come up for breath and I kissed hungrily along her jaw, wishing I could kiss every part of her-

Unexpectedly, Theophilia pulled away. Her chin raising suspiciously. "What are you doing here, Damon?"

My breathing had become rugged. All I could think about was the way her mouth had felt on mine, moments ago. "What?"

Theophilia dropped her arms, stepping away. She looked different somehow, older. As if she could have aged in the last few minutes. "What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" She asked, her words somehow seeming heavy. I could see the slight sparkle of tears on her lashes.

My broad shoulders moved up and down as I tried to regain a normal breathing pace. I felt the points on my teeth shorten, becoming less dangerous. "I need something from you," I answered unwillingly.

It seemed she had been anticipating this. Theophilia threw her shoulders back, a bitter look invading the untroubled eyes I was accustomed to. "What would that be?"

This new Theophilia took me by surprise; she was usually very helpful when it came to my affairs. I responded in a deliberately nonchalant voice, not wanting to bring on another wave of unexplained emotion on the girls part. "I need your help finding someone. A very young vampire named Edward Cullen who was made in Chicago, 1918."

Her big, black eyes squinted inquisitively, her mouth set in determination. "I need something of his. A talisman or a pocket watch. Anything that he touched."

"I have this." I held the piece of fabric up for her to examine, a little proud of myself for acquiring this item. Theophilia took it from between my fingers, running her hands along the small bit of dark blue fabric.

"This will do," she muttered, turning away and lying the cloth daintily on the bedside table. "I'll need to do the spell at the stroke of midnight, that's when my Powers are the strongest. You don't mind waiting a few hours, do you?"

"Certainly not," I answered, making an effort to sound charming. I had no idea what had brought on Theophilia's suddenly tense vibe, but I didn't like it one bit. I stepped closer to her until I was standing directly behind her. I laid my hands on her shoulder, trailing down the length of her arms and resting them against her hips. I ran my nose along her neck, pleased when she shivered with pleasure. "I'm sure we can find some way to entertain ourselves ..."

"Wait." She twisted around in my arms, resting her small hands against my chest. "Why are you looking for this Edward Cullen fellow?" Her bottom lip jutted out boldly. "What is he to you?"

I looked past her, resting my chin against her mass of dark curls. Outside the sky was dimming, the sun setting over the many buildings that lined the horizon. The bright bursts of color in the distance, vibrant orange and pearly pink, reminded me of the warm strokes of first love.

"He has something that belongs to me," I mumbled, pressing my face against her hair, breathing in the sweet smell of honeysuckle and lilacs. "It's extremely important to me."

Theophilia pressed her palms flat against my chest, pulling away. "Your prize possession?" She asked, raising one dark eyebrow.

"You are the most important thing to me, Theo. Why else would I spend so many soul-crushing years trying to keep you alive? Why else would I seek you out, travel across the world just to see your face?"

She dropped her eyes, her bottom lip trembling.

I lifted her chin, looking into her eyes. "What is the matter?"

"The only reason you want me is for my Powers. I know it, Damon. I'm not an idiot."

Dropping my hand, I felt a sharp sting at her words. I ached to deny it, but it was true. I had used her for years, solely for her outrageously strong Powers.

When I had first heard of her, it had been in Dublin, Ireland, 1947. I was sitting in an old pub run by a member of the Brotherhood. After serving me my usual Scotch on the rocks, he leaned forward secretively. He told me of a girl born a year earlier in Sacramento, and of the many vampires drawn her way because of the supreme potency of her Powers, even of a child at age two. After hearing of her, I immediately set upon finding her. It didn't take long. Like many vampires who had tracked her down, I was lured in by the brightness of her gifts. I stole her away, lavished her with gifts, showed her the true beauty of my world. As dark as my life was, she made it brighter. I had never known anyone as full of life and wonder.

After a while it became time for me to send her away. She had lived too long under my care, I was worried she would turn as evil and dead as me. Finally, reluctantly, I Compelled her to forget about me and placed her in the care of an adoption agency. She had been 10. I had already grown to love her, much more than anyone I had ever known in all my life as an immortal. Throughout the years, I would pay her a visit. It was true; I only ever visited her when I needed something. Simply because I was terrified she would turn cold and empty, just like I was. I didn't want to corrupt her. I wanted her to remain pure and good.

My wishes came true. Eighteen years later, Theophilia was still the same, bright and wondrous child she had been at the age of two. Still, I made one mistake during all my years; I had given myself the power to hurt her. I could see it now, looking into her dark eyes, which dropped when they read something in mine that she didn't want to see, the pain I caused her just by being here.

I knew what I had to do, I was merely unsure whether I could do it.

"Theophilia ..." I started, earning a scowl. I had forgotten she liked to be called Theo now. "Theo, I'm terribly sorry for the circumstances I have drawn for you in which I am going to have to let you go."

The words came out faster than I would have expected, easier to say that I thought.

Theophilia's face dropped and her mouth fell open with an audible 'pop'. She must have realized her fault, as she composed herself seconds later. Despite the obvious shaking of her jaw, she stood tall and purposefully. Theophilia would never want to make a fool out of herself. "Well … I'm glad we could come to an agreement," she responded, her voice trembling only slightly. "It would be best if you left. For good."

When we met eyes, the gem-like tears were already beginning to dot her eyes. I knew I had to leave soon; it was the only way to free her from her pain.

"Please, do that one thing for me before you carry on with your life," I said, my voice sounding thin, even to my ears.

Theophilia nodded, laying one hand over the cloth. "Of course, I will, Damon. I think I owe you that much. We'll talk about what you owe me … later."

My ears perked up and I turned towards her. "Pardon me?"

She smiled faintly in spite of her undeniable struggle to maintain control. "Honestly, Damon, you must know that I'm not going to let you off the hook just yet. I spent over a decade helping you with your obligations, and while you may blame me for your years of desperation, it doesn't make me pity you." Theophilia raised her chin, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "You owe me, Damon. In time, I'll find a way for you to pay me back."

I turned away quickly, stalking out of the room, away from the erratic witch. As I hailed a cab, and raced through the city towards the airport, her somewhat grotesque laugh still rang in my ears.

Seemingly hours later, I woke in a daze to the ringing of my very own house phone. It was Theophilia, giving me directions to find the vampire I was looking for. Her voice was very detached, almost distant sounding.

"Damon ..." Theophilia suddenly muttered.

I dropped my pen from where it was poised above the notepad. "Yes?"

"I see a girl … a girl with dark brown hair and matching eyes … skin as pale as a dove ..."

Immediately, I understood that she was speaking of a vision she was having, except it sounded like she was describing herself. I almost asked her cuttingly whether she happened to be looking into a mirror, but knew better than to interrupt her in this state.

Theophilia carried on in that same absent tone. "Her name will be Bella … she will be your savior … and your demise. Trust her, Damon. By trusting her … you _earn _her trust. You will need her … Otherwise … you'll be alone forever."

After that, my loft suddenly seemed very big. I realized I had just hung up on my only friend, possibly in the whole world. I thought about Theophilia's unorthodox warning, wondering if she was trying to scare me into wanting her again. Except the details of her vision were too scarily prolific, as if some part of me knew they were true. _"You will need her .. Otherwise you will be alone forever." _I was still agonizing over her words as I fell asleep.

The next day I set out on my search to find Edward Cullen.

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**A/N Hey, readers! I'm so, _sooo_ sorry it took so long to update. Seriously, I feel horrible about it. Hopefully this chapter makes up for it. :) I promise I will never take so long to update again. Don't forget to review! XOXO**


	5. The Witch Lucy

**A/N Hey, guys! Get ready for a super long Authors Note. First of all, I'd like to apologize for making this my second chapter in Edwards POV. But I can promise you it's pretty dang interesting. Secondly, I'm so happy to be updating :) although this one's _pretty short_, I'm probably going to post more in the next few days. I do believe this chapter thickens the plot, adds mystery, and also draws a closer connection between Damon and Edward.  
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**And last, but not least, a drastic change has been made in the 2nd chapter so you may or may not want to check that out. Otherwise, the plot is still pretty much the same. If this change confuses you, I'm deeply sorry and feel free to PM me telling me what a horrible person/writer I am. XOXO- Simmy  
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**Chapter 4**

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><p>The witches name was Lucy. Just Lucy. One word, two syllables. Word was that she was mastered at tracking vampires, witches, humans and objects alike. Although she didn't know it, this witch was the key to my future. At any point, my destiny could be marked without me giving any sort of consent. I <em>had <em>to find my creator. Lucy could help me with this.

Unfortunately, word also circulated that she was marked by another vampire, an older vampire. I'd need something the older vampire wanted, something that he couldn't acquire very easily.

It was 1961; I was strolling along an alley in London. It was chilly out, but I was dedicated to my mission. A man with a bad cough stumbled towards me, clutching my arm with a dirty gloved hand. In his other hand was an upturned hat. "Change for the poor, sir?"

I patted the pockets of my pea coat, glancing at the man's sunken black eyes. "Sorry, mate. I haven't got a cent."

The wasted man's lips puckered. "S'alright, sir. I understand, sir. A strapping young lad like you ought to save money for the dames. You must be around fourteen, right?"

Glancing at the buildings around me, I realized I still had no idea where I was headed. "Yeah," I muttered absently. A small part of me knew I was in the right area; I could almost hear the buzz of the witch Lucy's powers. But my tracking skills weren't the finest, I was still young, and it couldn't hurt to ask.

"Hey, mate," I called to the old man. "Would you happen to know of a girl named Lucy?"

The man's eyes lit up. "Lucy! You bet your left shoe I know Lucy! Mighty nice girl that one is; serves me and the mates soup every Sunday. Is she your mum or something?

"No, but I'm trying to find her. Could you show me the way?"

"Lives right up this alley, under the yellow roof."

"Thanks," I said, smiling kindly at the man, I followed the short amount of directions he gave me. Once I ended up at a book shop with a yellow awning, I ducked inside. The musky smell of books and dust tainted the cool air. When I walked in, bells above chimed.

Books. There were books everywhere; stocked along the shelves, piled on top of tables, crowded around a sculpture of Socrates. All the classics were here; from Jane Austen to Shakespeare to Jonathon Swift. I was almost in awe of the wide selection here. Picking up a weathered copy of Wuthering Heights, I stepped closer to the back of the store. The pages were torn and brittle, but the words within was where substance was most important. I had read the book while travelling through Europe, early on in my year. Although copy wasn't as dated as this one.

"Years of love," I whispered, running my fingers through the beaten pages.

Suddenly a floorboard creaked behind me. I turned to meet wide black eyes. The woman startled me so, I dropped the book. As it landed on the floor, the seaming snapped and the pages scattered. We both watched it happen, but only she bent to retrieve it. I was still stunned, my heart beating frantically.

"My name is Lucy," the lady said, standing up right and patting the pages back into place. "May I ask your name?"

I cleared my throat. "It's Edward, Miss Lucy. Edward Cullen."

Lucy walked past the towers of books and went behind a counter I hadn't noticed earlier. She laid the hard blue cover of Wuthering Heights down and the pages, grabbing a jar of glue from the side. "You'd be surprised by how often this type of thing happens, boy," Lucy smiled kindly. "What brings you to my shop?"

Her black eyes studied me for a brief moment, taking in my fitted clothes and neatly coiffed hair. I had to remember to gain her trust before asking for her help.

"Just in the neighborhood," I muttered. Lucy wore a secret smile. Quickly, I began talking about the first thing that popped into my head. "You seem awfully young to be running this place on your own. Is there a Mister Lucy?"

She laughed, spreading glue on the binding "Oh, no, no. I'm much too young to be a married woman. You must understand, boy, that times are changing. Ladies of my class are more accustomed to depending on themselves. Although... not everyone knows that just yet." She said with a wink.

I stared at her slack-jawed, and then swallowed loudly. "That's very... erm..."

"I'm aware of what you, and society, think of my choices." Lucy smiled, pressing the pages against the binding and then laying it aside. She looked back at me with empty black eyes. "This shop has been wonderful running on my own, and I couldn't be happier. Finding a husband is the least of my worries, Mister Cullen."

"I'm not judging you choices, Miss. I'm merely suggesting that it can't be easy running a shop on your own."

"Who says I'm doing this on my own?" Lucy said, raising an eyebrow.

_Oh, yes. I had almost forgotten about the ancient vampire who had marked her. _"A ... boyfriend?" I asked innocently.

"No, nothing like that," Lucy said, almost wistfully. "It's more of a business relationship. I give him what he wants, and vice versa. Other than that, we leave each other alone."

I studied her torn expression as she tried to convince herself that was what she wanted, too. She was actually quite beautiful with her long dark hair and night black eyes, contrasting to her white pallor. Her lips were pretty, pink, slightly disproportionate and moist. She wore a dark blue skirt down to her calves, a white camisole and a black jacket. Her hair, which must usually be wildly curly, was pulled back from her face into a thick braid weaving down her back.

When I looked back into her eyes, she was looking down at something. I followed her gaze, landing on my talisman. It was a ring given to me by my creator; heavy and silver with a dark blue lapis lazuli stone. Engraved, was the mark of the Brotherhood; consisting simply of a sword and a big letter B.

Lucy's eyes widened and her chest heaved. "You're a member?"

I nodded, wary of her reaction.

"You know who I am?" She asked, her bottom teeth showing slightly. I wasn't quite sure, but I thought she took a step back.

"Yet you failed to mention this?"

"I wasn't sure it was appropriate to bring up titles so soon. I wanted you to trust me first."

"By lying about who you are? Have you no shame?"

"I never claimed to be anyone I wasn't."

She stumbled back, looking over my shoulder frantically. "You have to get out of here; they must have followed you here. Are you trying to kill us both?"

I shook my head, raising my arms in front of me as if approaching a wild animal. "No, Miss Lucy, the Brotherhood has long since turned a blind eye to me. Seems I'm not the most interesting member," I tried at a joke, raising my mouth into a semblance of a smile.

Lucy took a deep breath in. "You're telling me no one knows you're here?"

"Not a single soul."

Finally, she stepped closer to me, placing her hands on the counter-top. "Is Edward Cullen even your real name?"

"Oh, please!" I laughed. "You've got to give me more credit than that, Miss Lucy."

She almost smiled, and then she squinted. "So, you're here ... there must be something you need? Something I can maybe help you with?"

I smiled. "How accommodating you are. You're not worried I'll run off to the Brotherhood and tell them you were attending to a vampire that wasn't your master?"

"I'm assuming you'd be punished more thoroughly than me for breaking such a law, Mister Cullen." When I raised a surprised eyebrow, she smirked. "I learned deception from the best. And I'm quite certain that if I go down, I could bring you down with me."

I leaned forward on the counter, gazing into her deep black eyes. They held strong, even in the presence of a vampire that was far larger than she.

"Then we have ourselves a deal?" I whispered.

Lucy leaned so close I could almost count her eyelashes. "As long as you don't breathe a word of this to anyone else-"

"And you, the same."

She smiled. "Then yes, Mister Cullen; we have ourselves a fine deal."


	6. Acting Alice

**A/N What do you get when you mix inspiration with free time? A new chapter from yours truly! You guys better be damn happy to see this one coming so soon. I can't promise you this will ever happen again. (-this is probably a lie since I already have the next chapter planned and this is way more fun than actual schoolwork. Though I did do some research for this chapter! You can thank me later!)  
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**Enjoy, and try not to hate me for not putting more Damon. I promise the next chapter will be filled with Damony goodness. ;) Besides, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?! Oh! And there's also a new character, so keep your eyes peeled for him. Should I make him a good guy or a bad guy? You guys decide! Also, I've never been to Brown University so any and all descriptions are based off of pictures, so don't yell at me if I get something wrong haha.  
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**Hope you guys like this one, and don't forget to review! XOXO- Simmy  
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**Chapter 5**

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><p><em>Imagine you're in a well; deep and dark with nothing around you but cold, flat stone. Imagine the despair you'd feel. There's no way you're going to get out. You're not strong enough. You could scream, but that wouldn't attract any attention in this lone field. And who would look for you, anyway? It's just you, all alone in the mouth of the beast. You begin to feel the coldness creep into your sneakers. Your back presses against the curved, icy brick wall. There's nothing to save you, no one to call your name. You can't even feel the wind down there, just the stillness of death.<em>

_ Now imagine you're in a coffin, deep beneath the surface of earth, surrounded only by dirt and roots and corpses. You can almost hear the heartbeats of the dead bodies around you. Slowly you breathe, in and out; wasting what little air supply you have. The panic expands in your chest, your heart burns violently. You suddenly feel too big in a space so small. Do the wooden walls have eyes? _

_ This is what it feels like when you're entire community turns on you. This is what it feels like when lifelong friends believe you're evil. This is what it feels like to walk into a crowded lunch room and have daggers thrown at your back. It's feels like claustrophobia, abandonment and anxiety all rolled into one. _

_ Could you live like that? _

_ I did. For one excruciatingly long year I endured the not-so-quiet whispers and accusing stares. It took me a while to truly understand the meaning behind their expressions, but when I did it didn't take long for me to think of a way out. _

_ They thought I was evil, some sort of insidious being who could be selfish enough to save themselves by making some sort of deal or sacrifice. Okay, maybe both of those things were true. I had, in fact, made a deal with someone for my own selfish reasons. But in my defense, it was done before he could tell me the terms and I only sacrificed myself, not a goat or a virgin or something._

_ Still, I wasn't going to tell anyone that. I seriously doubted it would make anything better._

_ Hi, my name is Bella Swan and I'm thirteen years old. Currently living in Forks, Washington, but on my way to moving to Phoenix, Arizona. I decided a few days ago that I would move in with my mom, I haven't told my dad yet. I plan to break it to him tonight, although it's not going to be easy for either of us. My father is super protective of me, ever since my accident. _

_ Of course, he doesn't know that I can't die. That's one thing I'm definitely not going to tell him. Do you think I'm joking? I would understand it if you did. In all honesty, if I were you, I wouldn't have believed it either._

_When I got home from the hospital all I could think about was how impossible my situation was. I almost didn't want to believe it. So I did some research online. It didn't go very far, since I was much younger and didn't really use my brain well at the time. But it got me thinking. If Mr. Salvatore brought me back to life, did that mean my blood was different? I remembered feeling life flow through my veins, making me stronger, better, invincible. _

_I hadn't been planning on hurting myself, just take a few samples of my blood and that was that. My dad had gotten me a microscope set in 6__th__ grade, so I knew how to use one. And I'd seen pictures online so I knew what normal blood should look like. I felt like a genius._

_ I barely even thought about it as I plunged the knife deep into my wrist. It was the kind my father used to cut up lean pork. He had just used it the other night, to cut up his steak. I didn't see it as dangerous; it was an experiment. I held the knife in the best way I thought possible; the way my father usually held it. It wasn't until the dark blood starting falling down my wrist that I realized something was wrong. Was it oozing out too fast? Maybe I should get a towel, to clean the mess. The blood had already made a puddle on the microscope slide._

_It was the last thing I remembered thinking before my eyelids drooped. Then the air flew around me and I felt cold floor tile against my right cheek._

_When I woke up, there was blood near my face, pooled around my arm. Surprisingly ... the blood smelled good. I could feel my mouth watering. I sat up, shaking my head lightly. I didn't feel weird, even though a lot of my blood was on the floor. I felt perfect._

_My father came home then. He found me in my room, mopping up the red liquid with a towel. Thankfully he didn't see too much; about a quarter of what had actually been there. Still, he freaked and brought me to the emergency room. I fed them my excuse; I had been attempting to dissect a frog and accidentally missed. They reopened my wound (which had already scabbed over), cleaned it, and then stitched it up. _

_After that I tested myself a bit more._

_One time, on my walk home from school, I stop at a playground and hung myself from the monkey bars. No one seen, but instead of suffocating from lack of air (the way I should have), I just hung there. My neck seemed outrageously strong. When I swung myself onto the landing, I only had minor rope burn, which went away by the time my father got home at five. I had no idea what was happening to me. _

_Another time I downed half a jug of bleach. But instead of being poisoned I just threw it all up._

_Needless to say, I was invincible. I could do anything I wanted, no matter how dangerous. No matter how horrifying. _

_ Except I wasn't happy; I was miserable. I was lonely. I couldn't speak to anyone about this. By the time I left Forks the rumours weren't even the worst thing about the town. It was the fact that nobody would talk to me, not even Bonnie or Jessica. It was the fact that I didn't have anyone to confide in. As far as I was concerned, I was a freak. Unwanted. Judged._

_That's why I left Forks. There was nothing left for me there. I didn't want to stay. _

_It turned my stomach, even now, to think about going back._

.

It was my first official day of University. Some might say this is a monumental experience in every young adult's life. I didn't treat it so highly. For one reason; I hadn't even planned on coming to University. Another... well, I think we both know this one.

Anyway, my first day of classes did not start well. Instead of sleeping in, which I planned to do until my nine o'clock class, I was woken by Rosalie's alarm. It was set to max volume, so at 6am it began blasting So What by Pink.

I sprung out of bed, forcing my eyes open; I had been up most of the night reminiscing. Rosalie, on the other hand, stretched her arms over her head, lifting her eye mask and smiling; the image of pure bliss. When she seen me she narrowed her eyes and smirked knowingly.

"Sleep well?" She asked, throwing her covers back and hopping out of her bed.

Of course Rosalie would look beautiful and fresh in the morning. I could only imagine how haggard and unkempt my appearance must me.

"Fine, thanks," I mumbled.

Rosalie was already sweeping around her side of the room, gathering up things. "I'm heading to the gym, then breakfast with Emmett. We'll be coming back here at around eight thirty, and I'm hoping you'll be gone by then."

I wondered why she was telling me this, but flinched when I found out. Oh, she wanted me gone. Of course she would. I refrained from glaring at my gorgeous roommate. Could she be anymore rude?

"We're planning on doing a couple... extracurricular activities," Rosalie continued as she gathered her gym clothes gracefully. She barely even glanced my way. Her lithe, lean body even looked good in sweats and night shirt. "I'm having a shower first, by the way."

"It's all yours," I answered. "And don't worry; I'll be gone by the time you and Emmett get back."

The bathroom door was slamming before I finished speaking.

At eight thirty, I was climbing down the stairs of Mueller hall. My first class was Linguistics in the CLPS department. I'd chosen this course on a whim, knowing that I probably wouldn't finish my first year anyway—although this class was bound to be interesting.

I made a turn onto Thayer Street and continued down the road, packed with busy students. When I came to a large, concrete arch I knew I was in the right place. I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself, then stepped through the arch. My heart was pounding as I stepped into the Metcalf Laboratories...

But nothing happened. It wasn't frightening. Instead it was rather invigorating, being in a new controlled atmosphere. I realized how much I missed high school.

I had entered at the back of the room, there were several desks connected in a curved fashion; at the front of the room were a projector and a podium. A very handsome looking man was standing at the front, speaking to one of the other students. He was blond, with boyish-looking features.

Setting my stuff down near the middle of the room, I pulled my notebook out and prepared for a wait; I was nearly twenty minutes early. There were other students here, my peers, all looking serious and reserved. It made me feel slightly inferior.

"Excited?" A voice asked beside me.

When I looked, there was another blond man with shiny green eyes.

"Excuse me?" I asked stupidly.

He chuckled. "Are you excited about the course? I hear Mr. Saltzman is a very prestigious professor. He's worked with some of the greatest minds in literature."

I cleared my throat. "I suppose I just feel lucky."

He raised an eyebrow but said nothing more. Just then the second blond boy bounded up to greet us, me and the nameless boy. "Hello, students! Glad you could all make it." He held up a clipboard while I realized he was our professor; Mr. Saltzman. How young! "And you two are...?"

"Very funny, dad," the boy said, chuckling.

I felt a nervous flutter in my stomach.

Mr. Saltzman smirked at his son. "I aim to please, Audric. What's your name, sweetheart?" He asked, his blue eyes beseeching.

"Bella Swan," I croaked.

He exchanged a quick look with Audric then looked to his clipboard. "Bella ... Bella... Ah, here we are! _Isa_bella. A pretty name for a pretty girl," He said, looking at me with fire blue eyes. I seen a little flicker of something there, something I hadn't seen in a while, something ... But I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Erm, thank you ..." I said, biting my lip. "But I prefer Bella. Just Bella."

"Well, Just Bella, you're in for one compelling class." Then added in a louder voice, "In my course, every single one of you will be challenged to the best of your abilities. Now please everyone, let's take a seat and begin the reaping."

I hadn't realized how many people had poured in; the class was almost full. Everyone raced towards seats, eager to learn.

"As time passes, more and more of you will drop out. Some may find the course too difficult; others may choose a different path. No matter how long you're here, I promise you shall learn a very valuable lesson.

"Now, the Dean of the CLPS department insists that I give you all a brief introduction to this course, even if you read it on the Brown website. So without further adieu, let's begin ..."

.

Never in my life had I ever encountered someone so persistent. After a few dozen texts and calls, I finally agreed to meet Alice Cullen for lunch. It wasn't that I didn't like her, but her family seemed too bizarre for me. I had only met them in elementary school, we weren't friends, and now that we go to the same University she wants to be close? There had to be another motive.

Nonetheless, not even I could fend off determined little Alice, so at lunch I met her at a little café named Pastiche. The outside of the shop was surprisingly dainty for a name that suggested such ridicule.

Alice was waiting outside, perched on a little black bench. She jumped up as soon as she saw me and grabbed my hand, much to my surprise.

"I just love this place!" Alice trilled. "It's really more of a bakery than a café."

"Lovely," I muttered, intensely aware of the strained set of Alice's jaw. Something was making her tense. I wondered vaguely if it had to do with Edward.

She lifted her petite nose in the air as we sat. "Mmm, smell that? Delicious! I'm going to get a cupcake, want anything? It's my treat."

I lifted my shoulders, "I've never been here before. Whatever you're having is fine."

"Great!" Alice chirped.

While she was gone, I pondered her reason for feigning exuberance. It wasn't like anyone was watching; she didn't need to act for anyone. She came back with four small pastries.

"These are tartlets, a Pastiche specialty. Two are strawberry and two are chocolate cream custard. I thought we could try both! Oh, and I also got you a tea," she said, smiling sweetly.

"Thanks," I took the tea she handed me, placing it in front of me. "Alice ..." I started, deciding to confront her head-on.

"I know it's not the most balanced lunch, but I figured, why not? We're thin enough to get away with it," Alice said, winking secretly.

"Alice," I tried again, making my voice firmer.

She set her pastry down slowly. "Yes?"

"Why did you invite me to lunch, Alice?"

The muscle in her throat moved up and down as she swallowed. "That's tactful."

"I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this. First you invite me to lunch urgently, now all you're talking about is tartlets and balanced meals? What is going on, Alice? There must have been something important you needed to tell me, so spill. I don't have a lot of time, seeing as I have to be at Manning Hall in half an hour."

"Isn't that the Anthropology building?"

I raised an eyebrow at her, setting my mouth in a straight, serious line. I was _not _going to be distracted.

She sighed. "Okay, Bella, listen. This may be hard to hear, but you need to trust me. I trust that you won't run away screaming as soon as I tell you my secret. But this concerns you, too. I think you know it does."

My face set in the void expression it always wore whenever I was afraid. Somewhere deep down, I knew Alice knew my secret. There was a glisten in her dark brown eyes that told me so. I swallowed hard. "Of course I'll keep your secret."

"I was hoping you'd say that." She studied me, very quiet all of a sudden. "You're very different, Bella. Not like most humans. There's something unique about you; something that sets you apart so completely, I'm almost certain that everyone else can see it."

"What do you mean?" I whispered.

She took a small sip of her tea, gazing at me the entire time. "I know about Damon Salvatore, Bella. I know. You want to know how?" She waited for me to answer.

My mouth went dry.

Alice leaned forward, not needing an answer; I mirrored her actions, "Because I'm psychic. I'm special, too; just like you. There's something about me that sets me apart from others. But nobody can know. Understood?"

"How much do you know?" I asked slowly.

"I'm surprised you believe me. Anyway, I don't know much. I don't choose what I see. I know that Damon saved your life. I also know that he's not the type of person you want to keep around. But Bella ... there's something else you should know. It's the main reason I called you here."

"Yes?" I asked my throat closing up so the word was no more than a whisper.

The air suddenly stopped moving around me. There was a high ringing in my ear. A dark cold settled over top of me, a chill ran down my spine. Suddenly it seemed as if Alice and I were the only two people on the planet. Spots blurred my vision and suddenly I was younger. Just a girl who hadn't died a thousand times over. I was just a child with the whole world ahead of her.

I seen Alice's lips moving before the sound reached my ears.

"I've seen how you die."


	7. The Point of India

**Chapter 6**

* * *

><p>I didn't want to believe it. Every cell in my body ached to deny it. No matter how hard I fought with the truth, I couldn't deny what I already knew. I knew with every bone in my body that the world was a dark and mysterious place. I knew that nothing could ever be truly understood. I knew that I shouldn't be frightened by this truth.<p>

Who would have thought, after years and years of dealing with death, that I would be terrified, _petrified _to listen to my own? But I was. This wasn't something you could ever prepare for.

"What… what did you see?" I whispered. I could feel myself falling apart, but I needed to hold it together.

Alice's eyes were cast down, "Do you really want to know?"

"I don't really have a choice, Alice."

"Yes, you do."

"We both know my death is imminent."

"Everyone's death is."

I met her eyes and shook my head, "Not this way." She bit her lip. "Please. Alice, as a friend, I'm begging you to share this information with me. You… you have no idea how much I've thought about this."

Alice met my eyes quickly, and then looked away. "It's dark and wet. Almost too warm. The air smells stale and a little moldy. I can't see anything. Then it's like … everything breaks. Explodes. I can hear you screaming." Alice's hands start to shake as she recalls the memory, like she's there in the moment. Her eyes are wide, shiny with tears. "Suddenly I'm watching you, covered in blood. You're face is surprisingly peaceful. You're in Edward's arms, he's crying.

"I can see him, in the shadows. I can't see his face but I know it's him. Edward doesn't fight back. He holds you, desperately trying to call you back. You start coughing. You're choking on something. It's blood. It spots your pale face. Red on white. Edwards's cries get louder …"

My heart's beating fast. I can hear the hard air going in and out of my lungs. I ask breathlessly, "Then what?"

Her gold-brown eyes met mine. It was hard not to see their anguish and feel a little tug in my heart. No. I can't begin caring for Alice. I knew that Damon would just see that weaknesses and exploit it.

"The vision is gone after that, Isabella. I can't see anything else."

"Please call me Bella." I mumbled automatically, then said, after a moment, "What do you mean you can't see anything else? Look harder. Isn't there a clock in the background or something? A sundial?" I needed to know when and where this would happen.

"I told you, Bella. I don't determine what I see."

I thought through what she had told me. It was dark; so midnight? My blood ran cold at the thought. Damon had said to meet him at midnight tonight. But no, Alice said she saw Edward holding me while I died. Why would Edward be there? Then she said there was an explosion. My brow creased as I concentrated. Thinking about this was only going to make me go mad, I decided.

"What are you going to do?" Alice whispered, watching my face.

With a long, deep breath, I picked up my weathered satchel and answered her. "I'm going to Anthropology. It's the first day, after all."

"Bella …"

"I'm fine," I answered, trying to sound strong. "It's fine."

The lie was clear in my voice.

.

Bonnie Bennett's giggle echoed through the playground. My head snapped towards the mortals. They were all running around, lost in childish bliss. Well, _most _of them were. Young Isabella Swan was propped against the parking lot fence, impatiently awaiting the bell. She continuously rubbed her hands together, gazing at the other kids on the playground. Isabella always interested me, when it seemed like nothing else would. One child in particular caught her attention, I noticed.

"Edward! Hey, Eddie!" Emmett yelled at me, throwing a stone. I realized he must have been calling my name for a while.

"Yes?" I seethed, prying my eyes away from Isabella.

"There's a full moon tonight," Emmett said, wagging his eyebrows up and down, "Ready to hunt some werewolves?"

Alice and Rosalie chuckled. Jasper said, "Werewolves are mere myths, Emmett."

"Oh yeah?" Emmett said, widening his eyes. "Well I bet you a thousand greenbacks I can catch one!"

"Good luck," Rosalie muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Really, Emmett, you should stay away from science fiction." Alice agreed.

I tuned my adopted family out, my eyes straying back towards Isabella. With a slight shock, I noticed someone had joined her. There were suddenly two little girls with dark hair and lovely pale skin. Isabella stared at the other girl with wide eyes and a slack-jaw. The second girl, the unknown one, was speaking to Isabella so fiercely, I could see spit fly out of her mouth.

I tuned into their conversation.

"Shh… Be quiet, Bella. Be still." The unknown girl whispered in a soothing voice. I almost felt myself relax at her words.

"I …" Isabella said, "I don't understand …"

"You'll be okay, Bella …" She whispered reassuringly.

Isabella's eyes narrowed.

The unknown girl raised her hand to Isabella's face and closed her eyes. She whispered a few words so low, not even my ears could pick them up. Then, with a quick look over her shoulder, she stepped away. While the little girl walked away, she met my eyes.

My siblings were still talking about werewolves.

I looked back to Bella, studying her pretty face. Then, in the next instant, Mr. Salvatore was beside Isabella.

"Not your cup of tea?" He asked, his obnoxious voice trying to sound alluring.

I curled my lips in disgust. Didn't he know that Bella was mine?

"I wish I could, Mr. Salvatore," She answered in a high soprano voice, then pointed at her broken leg.

His eyes drifted over her face, soaking in her delicate features, then he said, "Save your wishes for later, Bella. You'll need them."

"Edward? Edward, sit back down, the humans are suspicious!"

I was already on my feet, ready to break Mr. Salvatore's righteous face, when I heard the sound of screeching metal. No, the humans wouldn't have time to worry about the weird Cullen's. Because in a few significant seconds, one of their own would be dead.

I watched the whole thing happen, in slow motion. I would have run to save her, but my feet were planted firmly on the ground. How could I save this enthralling girl if it jeopardized my family?

By the time the first screams swept across the field, Mr. Salvatore had been gone. It was the last time anyone seen him.

I wanted to wait, to see if Bella would be okay, but my family was desperate to be away from the scent of fresh blood. So we left, heading off to Carlisle to tell him the news.

The next morning we were in Alaska. A couple weeks later, we were back in Forks. Bella was fully healed and miraculously healthy. We realized there had never been a threat to our family, after all.

Days after our return, Bella approached me in the hall. She didn't know it, but she completely beguiled me. After that, I never let her out of my sight. Mr. Salvatore never came back. All was well in Forks. Bella and I were in love, inseparable. Until Bella left, until she broke my heart, until she completely forgot about me.

How was that possible?

The girl on the field, the one who spoke to Bella, looked almost like a younger version of the witch, Lucy …

Suddenly there was a knock on my dorm room door. I groaned, pulling myself out of bed and answering it. Little Alice stood behind it.

"Did you get my messages?" She asked, sounding rather annoyed.

"My phone was off," I muttered.

"And apparently your shirt, too. Please, get fully clothed; I have something serious to tell you."

"Please tell me you're not considering applying to Brown, too," I asked, my eyes widening in mock horror.

"Edward," Alice chastised.

I began to take in her expression for the first time. She looked completely flustered and disturbed. I sat down on my bed slowly, realizing her fright could be genuine. "What is it, Alice?"

"It's about Bella," she moaned, tears springing to her eyes.

Grabbing Alice's hand, I tugged her into sitting position beside me. "Tell me."

Her tears spilled over, "I know why she doesn't remember us," She sobbed. "It's that dreaded Damon Salvatore! He's messing with our lives, Edward, and now I think he's going to hurt Bella. I've _seen _it, Edward. I've seen Bella dead. Oh, Edward, I don't know what to do!"

My limbs froze up. I knew my facial expression wasn't helping Alice's panic. I attempted to force my muscles into a different position. My eyebrows creased, so it looked like I was thinking of a solution, but in all honesty, I was falling apart inside.

Damon Salvatore: The bane of my existence; coming to take away the only thing that mattered to me. He must be the reason Bella didn't remember any of us.

Suddenly, with a flash of inspiration, I knew what we had to do. "We have to find Lucy."

.

The midnight air was cold. I could smell the wet leaves on the ground, the ones that did not crunch beneath me. Wind danced around me, encircling me, swaying the leaves about. I had never realized how beautiful the night was. How fitting that I should notice this, considering tonight was my last. A half moon hung above me. I was grateful that this night should be cloudless, so I could appreciate the stars one last time.

I approached the line of trees. I knew that this thicket was short; just on the other side was a lake, right at India Point Park. This was where I would meet my dark angel. This is where I would meet Damon Salvatore.

.

**A/N Any thoughts?! Next chapter is going to be filled with the invigorating and sexy Damon, so stay tuned! Hope you guys liked this one! Thanks for all the reviews from past chapters, you have no idea how much I love hearing your thoughts. :) Gotta admit, I had a few giggles whiled reading them. I immensely enjoy seeing your thoughts, and I have no problem with begging for reviews, soo ... **

**PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU TO REVIEW. EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY STORY. Thanks, guys. Hope you can still put up with me after that. c: XOXO- Simmy**


	8. Passion

**A/N This chapter includes one of the most adult scenes I have ever written. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. (Also don't get mad at me if you ship Edward/Bella. This chapter is all about sexy Damon. :))))  
><strong>

**Chapter 7  
><strong>

* * *

><p>It was amazing how much she had changed. When she was a little child, her brown hair was still mousy, her body still disproportionate. Of course, I couldn't have found her attractive then… but now… Her waist was tiny, perfectly balanced with her narrow hips and fine breasts. With the quick twist of her wrist, her long brown hair fell down from the top of her head, landing in an elegant wave down her back.<p>

I felt like running my hands through her hair, wrapping my fist in their thickness, curling it at the nape of her neck. Then I would slowly pull her head back, exposing her slender white neck …

Quickly, I stopped that errant thought. Now was not the time for fantasizing; that time would come later in the night.

Even from my crouch on the tree branch, I could see her hands shake. She was scared. I remembered the younger Bella, the one who feared with courage. I knew then that she was the same. What other girl would venture out to meet a vampire at midnight? Only Isabella would. With this fact came my unwillingness to be apart from her. I needed her; body, mind, and blood. I wondered whether she'd want me, too.

Only one way to find out.

.

I didn't hear the footsteps coming; only the coldness of leather as he pressed himself against me. As soon as I felt this, not mere moments after, I jerked away quickly as if I'd been burned. When I whirled around, I met familiar dark black eyes. All I could do was gaze into them with wide eyes.

"Hello, Bella." He smirked, tipping his head to each side as he took me in. Suddenly, it felt as if his eyes were burning holes in my skin; my cheeks, my lips, my neck, my nearly bare arms. A silent breath of terror escaped my lips.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Damon Salvatore whispered.

His voice shocked me; I expected it to be vicious and cruel. Instead it was smooth, gentle. I sucked in a huge breath, calming my rapid heart rate. It didn't look like he was going to kill me right now, at least.

I answered, still unable to pry my eyes away from his black ones. "I've seen your face a thousand times in my dreams."

Damon cocked his head to the side, "In you fantasies?"

I shuddered. "More like nightmares, Mr. Salvatore."

This response seemed to disturb him, probably for more than one reason. Why would he expect me to have fantasies about him? He was coming to kill me. Nothing he could ever do would make me wish to see him, especially not in _that type_ of way. Another reason might be the fact that I called him Mr. Salvatore, which was slightly tumultuous. When I was a little girl it might have been fine, but now that we were almost the same age, it seemed as if I still thought he was superior to me.

Although, he clearly was.

"I mean…" I started again, after rethinking my response. "I mean that I knew I would have to see your face again … I just didn't expect to feel so terrified."

Damon's expression smoothed out, only a small smirk remained on his face. "Terrified of me? Well, I haven't been doing such a good job, now have I?"

"What… what do you mean?"

"What I mean is …" He reached up, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear with the gentlest of touches, "is that nothing is as it seems, Miss Swan."

I swallowed hard, stepping further away from him and crossing my arms tightly across my chest. Absurdly, a sudden pain in my chest occurred, that I could only assume to be associated with our separation. For some odd reason, my body wanted—_needed _to be close to him.

There was a pregnant pause. The sound of wind swept through the trees.

"Have you any idea how much you mean to me?" Damon suddenly whispered.

I was still looking into his eyes as he said this, and seen how they noticeably softened. "I can't mean anything to you. You're going to kill me."

"Did I tell you that?"

I hesitated, thinking back. With rosy cheeks, I answered, "Well, you never directly said that, I suppose. But it was certainly implied."

One half of his mouth pulled up. "Come," he said, holding out his hand. "I want to show you something."

All the breath went out of my lungs. Slowly, I reached for his hand, placing mine in his. I was surprised by what a relief it was to touch him. He led me further past a line of trees, so far out that soon the rivers water was right against the tip of my sneaker. Suddenly I froze; was he bringing me here to drown me? Make me believe him so it was easier to bring me to my death?

Damon must have felt me ice over; he looked back with a slight dip between his eyebrows. Before he could say anything, another thought occurred to him and he looked back to India river. "See that ledge, right across the lake?"

I looked where his pale hand pointed. Sure enough, there was a tall cliff, with a pointy end.

"That is where many a tragic soul leapt willingly to their death," Damon continued, his eyes narrowing. Suddenly I seen a much wiser, older man than the one I thought I knew. "They must not have realized how … _pure_ life is."

He turned to me, his midnight eyes suddenly glowing. "Maybe my previous intentions had been to kill you; murder you in cold blood until your pretty face turned alabaster white-" He broke off when I began trembling again, "But what's important is that I don't feel that way anymore, Bella. It's imperative that you believe me."

"How can I believe you?" I whispered, my throat began to ache. "I hardly know you. All I know is that you wanted to kill me."

Damon turned to me, his eyes fervent. He didn't say anything for a long moment. "Would you like to know me?"

"That's a hard question to answer."

"Try."

I swallowed hard. "I'm afraid."

"You haven't a reason to be so. I won't hurt you, at least not now."

"How can I trust you when you say those things?" I muttered, pulling my hand away. The lake suddenly seemed very cold.

He studied me with those haunting black eyes. "Come away with me, Bella."

Damon gazed at me so passionately; all the air went out of my lungs. "What?"

"Come away with me, just for a few days. I want to show you that you can trust me." His lips parted and his pupils dilated. I realized this little invitation could mean so much; it could determine my entire future. If I refused, would he kill me right now? Did he even want to kill me at all?

"I… I need to think about this first," I responded slowly.

His face was suddenly a fraction harder, his mouth turning down. "Is that so?"

"Maybe," I said quickly, "Maybe if I could stop by my dorm first? Pick up a few things?"

"Don't ask my permission, Isabella. I'm not your father."

I blushed, "Right."

Reluctantly, Damon held his hand out to me. "Come; I'll take you to your dorm."

After a short walk, we ended up back at my dorm. Out the corner of my eye, I watched him. He moved in such a way that it was almost as if he floated. His arms hung like talons on either side of his broad abdomen, swinging slightly. He walked with swagger. His jeans hung on his hips deliciously, I couldn't look away.

He hung back as I climbed the stairs up Mueller hall and more stairs to my dorm. I liked the exercise; adrenaline was still burning fresh in my veins. When I got to my dorm room, I hesitated. I remembered that Rosalie said Emmett was sleeping over tonight. I had said I had other plans.

I knocked slowly. Rosalie answered in a matter of minutes.

She rolled her eyes when she saw me. "Hello, Isabella. Was there something you wanted?"

"I-I just needed to grab an overnight bag," I muttered.

Rosalie sighed, letting me through.

Quickly, I shoved clothes and toiletries into a large purse. Emmett was lying on Rosalie's bed, fully clothed, with a huge grin on his face. "Hey, Bella. Rose, did you give Bella Edward's note?"

"What note?" I asked.

"Guess not," Emmett scoffed.

Rosalie entered the room with her arms crossed and then pointed to my dresser. "It's there. Edward told me to give it to you as soon as I saw you."

I opened the note, folded with white parchment paper, and read:

.

Dear Isabella,

I've gone away with Alice for a while.

We might be gone for a long period of time. But don't worry.

Alice wants you to know that she'll do everything in her power to save you.

And I'll do the same. Be safe, Isabella.

~ Edward

.

I folded it back up and stuck it in my pocket. Absurdly, I was overwhelmed with irritation. Why were Alice and Edward so hell-bent on protecting me? Why was Edward willing to risk his education for me? And why did he keep calling me Isabella? Didn't he know I preferred Bella?

The annoyance must have been clear on my face, like every other emotion I had, because Emmett chuckled. "What did he do now?"

"Shut up, Emmett, it's none of our business."

Knowing Rosalie just wanted me gone; I grabbed my bag and nearly running out of the room. None of it made sense. Was I missing something huge? Why did Edward want to protect me? Knowing each other since middle school wasn't that great of a bond.

When I got outside, I was shocked to see a bright red Ferrari idling on the street. I approached it warily, as if it was a tiger. The window rolled down and Damon came into view. He raised one dark eyebrow, raising the side of his mouth in that sexy smirk. "Get in."

Without even thinking about it, I threw open the door and dropped into the plush leather seat. The whole interior was dark black. "This is… nice."

He threw me a dry look. When he seen my face, his eyebrows dropped and his laugh lines showed. "It's one of the faster ones. I like to go fast," then he turned back to the road.

I gulped hard; I could any guess what he meant by _that. _

As we hit the I-195, I wondered where the hell we were going. "Uhm… Damon? Where are you taking me?"

"I have a little house just outside of Bristol," he said. "That's where you'll stay."

"What about you?"

He smirked, "Yes, me too."

"In the same room?" I asked, my cheeks burning.

Damon glanced at me quickly. "Is that what you want?"

I couldn't answer that; my emotions were so scattered, I could hardly make sense of them. The oddest part was I think I _did _want to sleep in the same bed as him. And that was even more confusing.

In silence, we rounded a long arched road and ended up at a huge, Southern house. It was white with a grey roof and a pretty white porch. I stepped out the Ferrari, taking in the house.

"So much for little," I mumbled.

Damon came around to my side, taking my bag from me. He led the way into the house.

"Do you live with anyone else?" I found myself asking.

"I live with my brother, from time to time."

"Where is he now?"

"Attending school."

"What about other relatives?"

"No, they're all gone." He answered in a husky voice, dropping his eyes, suddenly looking very vulnerable. Then he cleared his throat and smiled devilishly at me. "Want me to show you the bed?"

I nodded slowly, following his lead up the stairs. He paused at the first door on the left, looking my way once. He seemed … _nervous_. My mind was blown.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked again.

I laughed; so much had changed in such a short amount of time. "I was just thinking about what I thought of you before. I thought you were … evil."

He smiled forcefully. "You don't know the half of it." Then he pushed the door open, revealing a room fit for a king. In the center of the room was a large canopy bed, with deep red curtains. He took my hand gently, pulling me further into the room. I could feel sweat collecting at my hairline. My heart pounded furiously. Suddenly the pain in my throat came back more violently, it became hard to breathe.

I pulled my hand away from his. "I don't know if I can do this, Damon." I whispered, my voice sounding thin and high pitched. The room was suddenly hot.

"Why is that?" He asked, a little dip forming between his dark brows.

"I'm scared," I admitted, dropping my eyes. "I've never … felt this way before. I never thought I could … at least not with you."

"You don't have to do this, Bella. You can leave right now." He touched my wrist again, except this time instead of feeling frightened, all I felt was fire. All my feelings of unease vanished. I looked up at his dark eyes, tainted with desire.

"I don't want to leave," I answered truthfully.

He smiled, full mouthed, and my heart all but stopped. Then a naughty look appeared on his gorgeous face, and he scooped me up in his arms.

Damon's lips met mine. They were so soft, so in control. He moved his lips against mine in such a way, that it was strangely comforting. Then Damon kissed me more passionately; I gave him everything I had. I barely noticed when he dropped me on the plush bed, because in the next moment he was pressing his lovely, hard body against me. I wrapped my legs around his waist, loving the feel of his flat muscles. His scruff brushed against my face, he trailed it along my jawline, then bit my earlobe lightly. I shivered with pleasure.

My arms were still at my side, I felt silly, but I was still too hesitant to touch his face.

"Don't think, just feel," he whispered against my neck, sending more shivers down my spine.

I gathered my courage, then reached up and twined my fingers in his hair. Oh, it was so soft. I tugged on it gently, as his lips moved along my collarbone. His hands moved down my stomach, towards my hips, then back up again, except this time they maneuvered themselves under my shirt. It felt so good to have his hands on my bare skin.

While still kissing my throat, he pulled my shirt up and over my head. I let him. I didn't want to stop him. Every part of me was on fire, and it was because of him.

Damon's fingers dug into my skin, as he worked his way down my body further. When he got to my breasts, I sucked in a short breath. He smirked up at me. His fingers trailed up my stomach, my arms, stopping when they got to my bra straps. With a look, he asked for permission. I smiled. Then he pulled them down, exposing my breasts.

"Oh, Bella…" He took a moment to gaze at them, then he brought his mouth slowly down on my already hard nipple. He sucked, then dragged his teeth across it, then sucked again. With his other hand he kneaded my breast, pulling on the nipple with his thumb and index finger. It felt so good.

"Ohhh," I moaned, my voice sounded different, even to my ears.

I felt rather then saw his smile. He moved farther down, leaving my breasts aching for his touch. He kissed down my stomach, fiddling with the button on my jeans. I helped him pull them down. He kissed along my thighs, I leaned my head back into the bed, relishing in his expert touch.

I hadn't even realized it, but he was getting closer and closer to my sex. When his lips touched my inner thigh, I froze, then pulled away, sitting up as fast as I could.

"No," I said, my voice trembling.

He looked shocked, kneeling on the floor. I realized he was still fully clothed.

"No, I don't want that to happen," I muttered.

"You don't want to…?" He asked, looking even more confused.

I blushed. "No, no. I don't want you to… erm…"

"To give you oral pleasure?" He asked, raising one eyebrow.

My heart nearly convulsed. I pressed my knees together. "No."

He smirked. "I can work with that." Then he climbed back onto the bed, simultaneously throwing his shirt over his head. He kneeled in front of me, chiseled abs and all. My breathing became harder.

"You're very fit."

Damon ignored me, grabbed my arms, and pulled me up so I was flush with his half-naked body. My breasts pressed against his chest, I could feel his muscles on my stomach. I trailed my hands down his toned arms, savoring every inch of his skin. He was so beautiful. How could someone this gorgeous be evil? It was impossible.

His chest was so perfectly sculpted; I wondered what it would be like to kiss it. I leaned down; his arms dropped from around me to his sides, and pressed my lips against his chest. It was smooth. I went up further. In a bold move, I trailed my tongue along his collar bone, and then kissed it. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my body closer to his. I brought my mouth close to his ear.

"You feel amazing," I whispered, because it was true. I had never met anyone so genetically gifted. I pressed my lips against his jawline, then ran my teeth along his stubble.

He let out a long breath that was very close to a moan. "Oh, Bella … do you have any idea what you're doing to me?"

I froze while kissing the corner of his mouth. I tried to pull back, but his arms wrapped around me. "Do you want me to stop?"

Damon flicked his fingers, undoing my bra. It fell between us. "Never."

He moved to fast I barely felt anything, then suddenly we were lying down and he was on top of me. He unbuttoned his jeans, kicked them off. His briefs followed at once.

I gasped; I could feel his hardness pressed against my entrance, behind a very thin layer of cotton. I was surprised by how amazing it felt.

"Do you really want to do this, Bella?"

"I've never wanted anything more in my life," I answered. I was being so honest with him, although I didn't feel embarrassed. It was merely the truth.

He gazed at me with soft black eyes, then moved my panties aside with two fingers. Then Damon Salvatore entered me, the way no other man ever had.

.

**A/N If you're accustom to full-on lemons, then this one may be tragically mediocre. I tried to make this quasi-lemon more of my own, it's not like BANG BANG SEXY SEX. It's more... passionate. Hope you guys liked it! Please review!**


	9. Under The Spell

**A/N Hey, guys! This chapter has a little bit of everyone in it. Unfortunately no cute Della moments :( A little bit of a cute moment with Edward, and we get to see the Damon we all fell in love with :))) Hope you guys like it! See you at the bottom ;)  
><strong>

**Chapter 8**

* * *

><p>I woke well-rested (if not well spent) in a blissful haze of euphoria. I snapped out of it instantly, though, when I realized Damon's arms were not wrapped around me. Slightly hurt by this discovery, I looked around the room. He wasn't at the bay-window, he wasn't at the liquor table, he wasn't anywhere in sight. Frowning, I climbed out of the huge King's bed, making the 2-foot leap to the floor. This bed really was too big for one person.<p>

Finding a plush blue robe that could only belong to Damon, I slipped it on and listened for sounds. There was nothing to hear, though; the house was completely silent.

Wonder where he went …

I decided that there was no reason why I couldn't explore this vast bedroom. Damon had left me here, anyway. He must not have anything to hide. Right?

After our passionate night I would assume so. I blushed at the thought. I had never done anything so bold before. Never opened myself up to someone, and not just anyone, but _Damon Salvatore. _This man had been in every one of my nightmares since grade 7. He was my first. I let the perfect man see my not-so-perfect body… I blushed even more remembering Damon's hands on me… His breath against my neck…. His beautiful body … His eyes...

I took a deep breath, grabbing hold of myself, and then stepped towards Damon's desk as if I hadn't just been fantasizing about its owner.

My head was instantly cleared as I took a closer look at the papers on the desk. What was this?.. The documents looked aged, maybe from Viking times. Touching it, I would guess the papers were hand-made. As in, carved directly from the tree. I had never seen anything like them before. The symbols were like nothing I had ever seen before, either. I could make out a few letters, they were pretty straight forward. An R here, a K there, a few M's thrown in. There was nothing I could make sense of, though.

I picked up one of the papers, holding it closer to my face. This was serious museum-style stuff. What was it doing in Damon's bedroom? I started putting the paper back down, until I seen another paper. It was a more modern. In fact… it looked like it might have been written recently. Like, maybe last night. Was this Damon's writing?

My hand shook as I picked it up. It looked like a poem …

"_I see it in your eyes  
>You're feeling paranoid<br>You know just what I've done  
>You know what I've become<br>I feel it deep inside  
>With all the pain &amp; lies<br>I know just what I want  
>I am an animal"<em>

It fluttered back onto the desk slowly. Words flashed in front of my eyes … _Animal … Pain… Lies…_

How could I have been so stupid? Of course, I knew that Damon was a deeply scarred man. He must have done horrible things. I knew he wanted to kill me. I knew what he was. How could I have come to Damon's house? Gotten myself into this situation? All because I had an attraction. I was trapped in his beautiful spell. But there was nothing beautiful left. The sun came up, shone light onto my distress. All that was left was pain and regret.

I needed to get out of here. Quickly, before Damon came back. I found my clothes and got dressed at lightning speed. I was down the stairs in a mere minute. No sign of Damon. Just as I was getting to the wide front door, a voice stopped me.

"My, my … Am I interrupting?"

Did I know that voice?

.

"Oh, look; more water," Alice announced dryly. We were just crossing the Northern Ireland border, heading along the coast towards Dublin. The deep green hills and crystal blue of the sea should have been enough to shut Alice up, but she just kept on annoying me.

"Shouldn't you be snapping pictures to show to Jazz?" I snapped, tightening my fists around the wheel.

"I've taken, like, a million pictures. There's only so much water you can show a man before he pisses himself."

"If you're trying to be funny, it's not working."

"What's got your boxer-briefs all up in a knot?"

"I'm not in the mood, Alice." I seethed. All I wanted was to get to Dublin, find Lucy and save Isabella from that evil villain Damon.

Alice pouted in that adorable sisterly-way. "It was a legitimate question."

"No it wasn't."  
>"Well you don't have to be rude about it! It's not my fault Bella's in this predicament, I'm worried, too."<p>

I found myself softening up, no matter how hard I clung to my anger. Only Alice could pull me out of one of these moods. Unfortunately, for both of us, anger was a welcome emotion. Without it, I would be forced to feel the pain, to see the future, which didn't seem too bright. Anger was the only thing between me and my breakdown. Couldn't Alice see my crippling fear? Could anyone?

"I'm sorry, Alice." I muttered, "Of course you're worried, too. I just can't stand being away from her … What if he decides to attack?" My heart rate sped at the thought, and I contemplated turning the car around.

"Edward, it's going to be okay. We asked Rose and Em to keep an eye on Bella while we're gone," Alice softly reminded me. Then she brushed her hand over my forearm. "Not to mention the new vampire hunter on campus."

I let myself relax. Alice was right. For now, Bella was safe. My job there had been done. All that I could do now was find Lucy and save Bella's life.

.

"Aren't you a fine specimen?" I breathed, leaning in close to the girl's neck. I could feel other eyes on me, specifically belonging to the lovely ladies of 901 Bar and Grill, but I let them slide off me. These eyes were the ones I so desired.

"Excuse me?" Bonnie snapped, turning to face me. When she saw me her brown eyes widened further, and her mouth formed a small o. "Oh, it's you..."I smirked as she composed herself. She and I had a tiny episode the first day. She called me a pig for hitting on her friend in front of her, then pursuing her the next instant. Was it really my fault Brown University was so well stocked?

"What do you want, Troy?" Bonnie McCullough asked. Well, _she_ wasn't going to be any fun. Still, I kept annoying her. It was fun watching that spark of fire grow. Even more fun knowing that she didn't know that I knew she was a witch.

"How's a little kiss from yours truly?" I asked, doing my best version of charming and debonair.

"Sounds like my worst nightmare," She was careful not to look into my eyes again. "Now are you going to tell me why you're harassing me? Do you need notes for World History? You missed class yesterday."

"I know all I need to know," I winked.

Bonnie left change on the bar, then swiveled to face me. Before she could fire off her insult, she met my eyes, getting the full-effect. Her pale throat moved up and down, her full red lips parted. My, she was attractive.

"You're disgusting," Bonnie mumbled quietly, trying to be strong.

I grabbed my chest in mock hurt. "I am deeply wounded by your rejection, Miss McCullough!" Instantly, I switched off my bravado. There was only so much charm the girl could take before she spontaneously combusts, or suffers from a throbbing, wet crotch. "I'm looking for my friend, Stefan Salvatore, have you seen him?"

"I didn't know you two were friends," Bonnie smiles, doing a little hop in excitement. She reminded me of a little bird. "I think I saw him at Pastiche with his girlfriend, Elena Gilbert."

I held my arm out for her to take, throwing in an eyebrow raise for good measure. Not surprisingly, Bonnie hooked her arm in mine with a small smile. Sooner or later the girl had to admit that the irritating womanizer was actually very stunning and charming. At the end of the night, I always got the girl in my bed. Always put her under my spell.

Always.

We found Stefan in no time. Right when he saw me he excused himself, and Bonnie made her way over to Elena Gilbert. Elena met my eyes with searching violet ones. I squinted, wondering how much she knew.

"Damon, what are you doing here?" Stefan asked, furrowing his brow.

I put my arm around his shoulders. "Let's take a walk brother. And please, keep your voice down. They know me as Troy Smith here."

.

**A/N What is Damon up to? And what was up with those Viking scrolls? Alright, you guys probably already know; y'all aren't stupid! Yes, the Originals are making an appearance shortly. :) I decided to keep that part from the TV show because I loved them so much! There's also a mystery guest (No its not an Original) Can you guys guess who it is? ;) **

**And can I be the first to say how much I looooove Damon? I was fangirling so hard for him, and I'm guessing you guys were too! **

**Don't forget to... REVIEW!**


	10. The Divine Presence of Insanity

**A/N This chapter is a major change from the last one! That one was mostly fun to write, this one's a little heavy. I hope you guys like it, though. I spoke from the heart. I'm going to ignore the fact that I didn't get one review last chapter, due to the fact that it was mostly a transitional chapter anyway. This one goes deeper into the storyline and brings this story to a new, exciting level! Hope you guys agree :) See you at the bottom ...**

**Chapter 9**

* * *

><p>There's something about the emergency room tonight. Something in the air sparkles. It shifts. She's by my side, cradling a hot coffee. I can feel the hate. It reminds me of Satan. Or God. It reminds me of Aunt Judith; she's probably expecting a phone call by now. I let my mind slip and press the cloth harder against the cuts. Bright red seeps to the outside. How long have I been sitting here? Not long. Yet they're already rushing me onto a cot. Paper crinkles under my weight. Where's Meredith? Where did she go? She was right beside me.<p>

A doctor is in front of me, shining a light in my eyes. I blink fiercely. His lips are moving ahead of his words. They echo through a long tunnel. _Where's Meredith?_ I ask. He doesn't answer, his lips pressed together in concentration. When I look at him I see the sun, burning bright in my eyes. He reminds me of God. He's certainly controlling me; by the way he holds my elbow in his hands. Does God control us?

I see it, then. See the woman. My mother. She's smiling at me, holding out her hand. I'm meant to take it. But I don't know if I can. My mom's face stuns me into submission. And I know, instantly, that I would do anything she'd say.

Suddenly my whole world shakes in front of my eyes. I'm in a wave, in the wide-open sea, gasping for breath. The water constricts against my chest. Was this my mother's plan for me? I don't want to die, not like her. I swear I wasn't trying to die. I just wanted to see how my pulse looked from the inside.

Then I'm not in pain. The ocean around me has disappeared. All that's left is the walls, the doctor, and the bloody cloth. My mother's gone.

.

"She did it again," Meredith whispers. She doesn't know how sharp her voice sounds, doesn't realized I'm listening. "I don't know how we're going to cover this up."

The person says something on the other end of the line. Meredith sighs. "It's only going to get worse if we keep ignoring it, Stefan. We have to talk to her about it."

But she doesn't know it's already so much worse than it could be. I can hide better than anyone. Hide behind a lovely mask and flowing golden hair—hair that draws a curtain between me and them. They can't see my neck, don't know my pulse. My intentions aren't cruel; I don't want to hurt anyone but myself. Can't they see that I don't want this?

Meredith whispers words of goodbye. Then I'm in bed.

I've found that I often do things without consenting. Someone's coming; go the other way. Most of the time I don't even remember doing anything. I know it's not the same for everyone.

I turn on my side and pretend to sleep. I block out the whole world because it's easier than talking. The next day Meredith drives me home. No suicide watch; not this time at least. My room is empty and big—two dangerous combinations.

Luckily, that's when Katherine shows up. She's in front of my mirror, checking herself out. "We going out tonight?"

"I don't see why not," I answer. I'm sitting in the middle of my bed cross-legged, wondering how I could possibly feel any smaller.

Katherine falls onto the bed next to me. A silver flask sits in her hands. "You can tell me what happened, you know. I won't judge you anymore than you would judge me."

I brush my finger along the wrist guard. It's ugly, and glued on like a cast. They made sure this wouldn't happen again. At least, not on that arm. Maybe I won't do it so deep next time. Besides that, Katherine was right. I could tell her. "It was the hospital, again. Meredith's furious. She doesn't understand. I wasn't trying to kill myself."

Katherine's quiet for a heartbeat. Then she jumps off my bed. "You weren't? Your parents are dead, your aunt never calls, and you live alone. Hell, if I were you I would go crazy. Everyone has an episode. You're not crazy for wanting to be dead."

I shake my head before she's finished. How can I explain to her that when I bleed, my mother comes out? I _don't _want to die. It's the only way to see my mother. If I told Katherine, she'd think I was crazy. So instead I say, "I don't want to die."

She meets my eyes and in that short time I see the world. No wavering, not a single care. She's a true friend. "I believe you." But she really doesn't. "Let's get out of here."

It's cold outside. "We should have worn leggings," I say. My thighs brush the back of my jean skirt. Katherine lights up a cigarette. I wonder why she smokes those; they're disgusting and evil. When we get to Mathews Church, she discards of it with the help of her heel.

In no time we're joined by Mike, Bonnie, Stefan, Rosalie, and Caroline. "Hey, guys," I greet them. "Thanks for coming."

We all acknowledge each other, then get down to business. "Edward and Alice are in Ireland right now. I know we're all sorry they couldn't be here, but we can't postpone this. We'll have to work harder tonight, is all."

"Like that's going to happen..." Katherine whispers. I shoot her a look. Nobody else seemed to hear her, so that's good. Don't want to lose supporters.

"The full moon is in a week. This ritual is important, guys. Now, I hope everyone brought they're spray cans."

Bonnie held up a bag and shook, the metal cans sang from inside.

I forced a smile. "Good. Okay. Before we split up we need to talk recruitments. Bonnie, Stefan; you wanted to volunteer names?"

Stefan shifts his feet. When I meet his jade green eyes I lend him a small smile. "My friend, Troy Smith, expressed interest in joining. We haven't discussed much. He apparently heard of our vigilant behavior through the grape vine."

"Does he believe in the High Priest and Magick?" I asked.

"'Cause we don't want any suspicious members," Katherine put in. "Not sure your judgment is so sound when it comes to those."

I let her say what she wanted; not like I could stop her anyway. Stefan glared at me in a confused way. Probably wondering why I didn't do anything about Katherine. I shrugged, "It's true."

"Troy can be trusted," Stefan confirmed.

"Anyone opposed?" Nobody said anything. "Then, Stefan, you can give Troy the news. Bonnie?"

"I'm volunteering Bella Swan for a position," Bonnie said hopefully.

"Absolutely not," Katherine snapped, and then whispered to me, "I don't like the sound of that Bella girl. She and Bonnie have history; what if she tries to take over?"

Mike jumped in, "Bella seems cool."

"But is she divine?" Caroline asked.

"Is anyone in his club divine?" Rosalie sighed.

They continued to put in their 2 cents. My eyes filled with stars. Bella was no threat to me, just another girl. Troy Smith wasn't a threat. The only one who could possibly harm me was myself. I didn't care about losing my position as leader of the circle. I was already losing myself.

"Bella can join," I announced. "Now let's get started. We don't have a lot of time."

We split off in pairs. Mike and Bonnie took the east side of Rhode Island; Caroline and Rosalie to the west; Stefan, me and Katherine went downtown. Katherine went to the first building, then proceeded to spray painting a large eye on the building.

Stefan took my hand. "I was worried about you, Elena. You know I love you right?"

I smiled at him in that way specific to him. "Yes, I know. I love you too." Did it sound as flat to him as it did to me? "I just... felt overwhelmed. So worried about the group and the Power."

He nodded. "I understand. Can I tell you something?"

Of course he could and he knew it. Asking was important to him. It made him good about himself. I suspect it also brought him back to a simpler time, when pride was key.

"It's about Troy Smith. His name isn't actually Troy, it's Damon. Damon Salvatore. He's my brother. He begged me to ask you if he could be involved."

This news barely phased me, although it did sound like quite the ruse. "Why is he using a fake name?"

Stefan answered simply: "He doesn't want to be found."

That makes two of us. "Who's looking for him?"

"People from the past; my brother has a lot of enemies." Stefan pressed his lips together. Something about his eyes, the dip in his forehead, made me think this worried him. I didn't like seeing him anxious.

I gripped Stefan's shoulders, looking into his eyes. "It'll be okay. We can help him."

"Thank you. And hopefully the girl he's been seeing can help him out, too."

"What's her name?" I asked hopefully, maybe I'll see his smile.

Then, as if he lived just to please me, he smiled. His next words chilled me, though, and brought Katherine back with a vengeance. "Bella Swan."

Katherine followed me to another building, hisses at me while I paint the eye. "You see what I mean?! She's weaseling her way into our lives. Stealing your boyfriends brother is overstepping. I want him. I want Damon. Not that bitch Bella."

"Shh, Katherine. We'll do something about her. I promise." Katherine turned her back on me. The red eye glared at me. The sun peeked above the bridge. "Let's get heading back now. We've made our mark on Rhode Island anyway."

Stefan swung his arm around my shoulder. "By the afternoon everyone will know the Red Eye Circle. Magick has never been more prominent." Then we kissed. He was on fire, I was ice; chilled by the ghost of Katherine's presence in the back of my mind.

.

**A/N Okay, so... Forgive me if y'all weren't quite ready for this twist. Hope it's enough to keep you guessing and wanting more! Feel free to PM me and/or review with your questions, thoughts or concerns. I get that it may seem like a pretty major leap from my earlier work but I promise you it'll all fall into place! Don't wanna ramble on for too long, so just trust me! And don't forget to review! :) How crazy is Elena, am I right?**

**Sorry about the no-Damon thing :(  
><strong>


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